Who doesn't have an Uncle Bubba, with the beer belly and obnoxious belching, or the Aunt Petunia with the bright red lipstick and too-tight pants? We all have at least one person in the family tree we'd all wish would be plucked. If your relatives would make a good comedy routine, then we want to hear about them. This category is for all those stories about loud aunts, drunk brothers, flatulent uncles, and slutty sisters.

I Need To Go To Confession

Im a married church going mom.

Yesterday we had family around in our garden my son is 19 still at college about to to go to Uni this September.
Hes just normal well I thought so.

Our family were here yesterday and we were just relaxing, eating, drinking, enjoying the weather. We decided that the plants could do with watering and one thing led to another and one of my sons cousins decided to turn the hose on my son Kai, Kai was in shorts and flip-flop type things next minute hes soaked and his flimsy football shorts reveal which must have been an 8inch cock!

My husband took the hose of my nephew, and the fun was over. Kai took everything in fun and went to change.

My sister and I took glasses and plates in. As we were clearing in the kitchen, my sister whispered and asked whether Kai has a girlfriend, I said he had no one special. Cathy my sister said with a cock like that he can have his pick. I was embarrassed but my pussy was tingling hearing my sister talk about my sons cock!

I can literally hide Derek my husbands cock with my hand and it must be sadly about 4 inches in length. Im not really complaining our sex life is ok and he is a good man who has given me a wonderful son. My sister said Neil her husband is average, and she says he prefers to wank than fuck and if it it wasn't for Love Honey she'd have no fun at all!

Cathy said if you want to send Kai over during the summer hols then she would love to keep him entertained. Cathy I said but as I looked at her, Cathy's nipples were rock hard. I just laughed. But my pussy needed attention immediately!.. Derek's working in London all week, maybe I should have a sneaky peep at Love Honey.

Cathy said I thought you were going to say "take a peep at Kais cock" and burst out laughing , I joined her. My husband walked in grabbed my waste and said im not sure what the laughing is about but I bet its rude. I said no just kids tasting your chilli's, he agreed that was funny.

Everyone went my husband went to the British legion and I considered going to confession but I never, I looked up teenage boys on Internet and played with my pussy till I came.

I feel guilty this morning but I am itching to see Kais cock again.

  • My Wife Is Fucking Our Son

    I never thought this kind of evil could exist in the world. Friday I came home early hoping to surprise my wife with flowers and some fresh food from the farmers' market, for dinner.

    After parking in our driveway I went straight to the backyard to put the sprinkler on. Normally I would do it after dinner, but I figured I'd save the extra trip outside.

    I heard noise, rhythmic thumping and squeaking, and then a woman whimpering. The back window was open. I peeked. My wife was on her back in the bed, legs bent, our son fucking her, his hands on her thighs. She said, "Fuck me harder!" He cried out, "You like it rough, mom, huh?"

    After a few slam-thrusts that made my wife cry out, his pace slowed and our son bent down to kiss his mom (yuck!). I heard whispering but I was able to make out, "Mom, you know I like to fuck you real hard, but I don't want to hurt our baby."

    I was in shock!

    Our son had turned 18 only 3 months ago. Had this started before his birthday? And my wife was now carrying our son's child? They were apparently planning to go through with the pregnancy and have a retard?

    I grabbed a tennis ball and literally threw it into the window. The rhythmic noises stopped and our son came to the window. He was shocked that I'd caught them. "Stay right there young man!" I ordered.

    By the time I got to our bedroom my wife had donned a silk nightie and she was in the corner sobbing. My son had gotten his boxers on, his boner tenting the fabric and huge wet spot on the front. Had he already nutted in my wife earlier in the afternoon?

    I slapped my son so damn hard. I told him to get out and never come back. As he was leaving, I shouted, "Get your own fucking woman!"

    In spite of the emotional pain I was going through, my mind remained very clear. I dialed our local Planned Parenthood...we had been regular and generous donors...and explained that my wife needed an abortion. They'd had a cancelation due to a miscarriage. I said of course we'd come this afternoon.

    I told my wife to get the fuck up. I said, "If you want to sleep in my house tonight, and if you want any hope of staying married to me, get dressed and I'll drive you to the clinic."

    She reluctantly complied. The baby was 2 months, 3 weeks old, conceived literally days after our son's 18th birthday. I guess it was a relief my wife hadn't broken the law.

    Now we are starting the long process of healing. Of seeing what's left to salvage in our relationship. I told her that if she communicates with our son in any way, for any reason whatsoever, I will immediate file for divorce.

    This afternoon she is out shopping and I am feeling hopeless. Help me!

    We Are Now Part Of The Next Generation Of Women

    First we are from Turkey, Christians. My grandparents emigrated to follow my parents. The rest of the family followed, my parents had six daughters, I'm in the middle. My grandfather and my father have a company servicing airplanes, with 75 employees. I'm the first to go to college.

    During college I had an intense two plus year relationship with a girl. She was my first, I went in head over heals, but as time went on she cheated, and left college to join a group of front line activists. It hurt, and after graduation I returned home to work in the family business. My degree included courses on human resources, none of which fit in with my father's or grandfather's ideas. To put it bluntly, Grandpa's idea of women was on their back or the kitchen. Dad wasn't much better, he hadn't paid all that money for me to come home single.

    None of that was new to me, spoke when spoken to and all that. The kitchen is reserved for women, and that's where all the women bonding takes place. That's where my cousin and I felt attracted. She was legal, over 18, and she let me know she liked 'girls'. That being the case I was there for her, and truthfully after my sour college experience, young and uninitiated was welcome to me.

    An older second cousin came to visit for a funeral and I turned on my stomach to protect my vagina. It was take it up the ass or open up my legs for him. When he was ready he gave me a choice. finish him with a blowjob or let him finish in me. I didn't answer and he emptied himself in me. Now I was pregnant, no one agreed with me, you don't kill a man's baby without his permission.

    He said he would take care of the baby, which meant legal recognition, and visitations and child support. Four months in he took me away and married me in another state. He didn't know one thing about my real self. He wanted feminine, long hair, little affections. None of which I was prepared for. I came out to him about me and my cousin and his answer was "bull shit".

    He didn't let up, he wanted sex and he took it. After the baby came he was cutoff and he gunned for our 18 year old cousin. She wasn't able to keep him off of her and nature happened. I learned my lesson.

    I had another baby, and we moved to a comfortable house, but not close to my parents. In the kitchen as wife and mother I am now part of the 'women', my cousin with her one baby is also accepted, and her mother asks her if 'that man' will ask her to have another baby for him. I work in Grandpa's business, my kids are kept by my mother. My cousin's baby also stays with her brother and sister. As to us 'they are closer than sisters'. My husband has his own company and my cousin works with him.

    One of the women said one day that it was all in disorder, but if they love each other then leave them alone. It's now up to my husband. And I'm convincing him to give her another baby. Nature is calling.

  • Watched Humping The Garden Hose

    Growing up I was pretty horny. I loved to rub my little clit to orgasm however I could manage. Sometimes it was straddling the corner of my mattress and grinding until I was panting. Other days I would hump against the living room armchair.

    Eventually I even would sneak my mother's egg vibrator and use it until my legs felt like jelly. Before that started though I learned how to spray the showerhead on my pussy. That send shivers through my body.

    I was visiting family for the summer and only had an air mattress so no humping there. They had no removable shower head either. One day my uncle said the pool water was low. He got the garden hose which had this special nozzle on it that could have different spray settings on it.

    I got the idea that this hose could satisfy my craving. Whenever I got the privacy I would get in the pool and bring the hose under the water. I would point the nozzle toward my bikini bottom and turn it on.

    I could tease myself first with lighter jets against the fabric. Then more intense sprays until I really needed to cum. Then I could push my bottoms to the side and expose my swollen sensitive clit to the stronger jet and wow!

    I would hold one hand gripping the side of the pool the other keeping that hose where it had to be in my pussy until I was shaking and moaning muffling them into my arm so I wouldn't be heard. Or so I thought.

    One day when I thought I had the place to myself I decided to lay on the pool steps instead. I had my pussy out and the hose held spraying it above the water. I was head back sighing and letting myself thrust into the jets. When I felt like I was being seen.

    I stopped and looked around only to find my uncle in the screened in porch. I was humiliated but as I started to apologize in shame he said firmly "Turn it back on". I was confused and started to speak again when I saw he had his hands in his pants. He looked so intense and said "I want to watch you play with yourself. Go on and turn that on. Use it until you cum. Do it now or I'll have to tell your mother what I caught you doing."

    I was embarrassed and nervous but also of course I was still horny I hadn't cum yet. So I didn't want to get in trouble. I sat again on the step. I turned on the light mode of the hose. He started to direct me.

    " Spread your legs open. Put the nozzle closer to your pussy. Undo your top and pinch your nipples." I did like I was told the whole time watching his hand move in his pants. This was something new being told how to masturbate was turning me on.

    Then it happened I started to cum. He told me to be loud and I was. As I finished though he said " No you aren't done yet. I want to see more. You will play with that pussy until I say so. He pulled out his cock and began stroking it faster. "Start now".

    My clit was so sensitive so I was feeling very intense but also so good. I came again twice more before I saw his cum spill onto the ground below him as he groaned.

    Then he pulled his pants back up and told me to get inside and get dressed. He walked over took the hose and washed away his cum.

    I still love variety today when I play with my pussy or tease my clit. I love that build up of a tickling almost to a warming feeling to that outright desperate need to feel the burst of pleasure that is my orgasm. I especially love playing with others when I do it.

    Scared

    I am 20 years old. I have a sister who is older than me. She was out of control as a teen when she got pregnant. At that time my mom was also pregnant with me. My mom gave birth to me and almost 6 months later my niece was born. We all lived together till my sister moved out. Slowly we started seeing Less and less of them then they moved. We would see them for Christmas sometimes. About a year ago they moved back to our city. At first my mom would make me spend time with my niece. We were almost the same age so she figured I could help her make friends. Me tho I'm an introvert. I prefer to be alone.

    I noticed my niece was the same. Plus she had a long distance boyfriend. She was always snapping and texting. One day she saw me drawing. She like to draw too. She pulled out her sketch book and started showing me stuff. I did the same. And before long were were talking like crazy we were showing each other different drawing techniques. We talked a little and liked some of the same songs and artists.

    We eventually started hangout more. We got pretty close. She decided to go to college so our visit became less and less. But I was there if she needed anything. About a week ago I had decided to bring her some food after class. I went to her tiny apartment and knocked but she didn't answer. I knew she was home all the light were on. When I called her phone rang. I got worried so I opened the door. I looked around and I couldn't see anyone. I heard crying so I went to the bathroom. She was sitting in the shower crying. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. I sat there with her for a while. Till she decided to talk.

    She had been planning a trip to visit her boyfriend. She has started to sense that a long distance relationship wasn't good for her relationship. She had bought a ticket and was excited about her trip. She told me she got a message from someone she didn't know. It was a selfie of her boyfriend and another girl. The other girl had found out that he was also dating my niece. And felt bad. She told her that if she had a boyfriend and he was cheating shed want to know. That is why she messaged my niece. My niece had started making calls and text to people back home and she learned that he had been cheating on her since before she moved.

    My niece was devastated. I was trying to console her but I didn't know what to say. I never even had a serious relationship. I helped her to her bedroom and left so she could get dressed. She came out still crying. We went and sat on the couch. I just put my arm around her and let her cry. She fell asleep and before long I did also. Why woke up we had both ended up laying on the couch kind of spooning. She was in front of me her ass pressing against my groin. I had chubby so I was trying to scoot back but when I would scoot so would she. So I continue to lay there with my hard on. Every time she would move or wiggle a tiny bit I could feel it. I was afraid I would cum.

    Eventually I had to move. I absolutely didn't want to cum on her. I told her I would check on her tomorrow. She asked me to stay. I said ok. Her phone went off again and she looked at her phone. She tossed it on the ground and ran to her bedroom. When I went in she was crying on the bed. It turned out her best friend was also sleeping with her boyfriend. She wrapped her arms around me and we just lays there. She stopped crying and had her head in my chest. Feeling her warm body against mine I started getting an erection again. I apologized and tried to sit up. She hugged me tighter I could feel her breath against my neck. I was rock hard. I started to feel her hand on my cock.

    She started rubbing it through my basketball shorts. She looked up at I could feel her hand sliding into my shorts. Her cold fingers wrapped around me. She started kissing me. I started moaning loud. She pulled off my shorts and started giving me a blow job. She kept asking if she was doing it right. When I asked her she told me she was a virgin. She had been planning on losing it to her boyfriend when she went to visit him. I told her I had only had sex once. We both kind of laughed. She continued giving me a blowjob. At first she was using her teeth but after a minute she got the hang of it. She was good at it. I had to tell her to stop or I would cum.

    She stood up and got naked. She is 5 ft 100lbs tan skin, long dark hair, these almond shaped eyes. Her body was toned., she was into all kinds of sports, volleyball, softball, soccer cheerleading. Her tits were nice perky b cups. She had a small trimmed bush. She jumped in bed. We tried missionary first. She was so tight. When I was inside her I could see the outline of my cock in her stomach area. When I saw that I had a premature ejaculation. She wasn't upset I unloaded inside her. In fact she was happy.

    We have done it a few more times but I'm starting to like it and I'm afraid she is too. And what would happen if I we got caught.

  • My Brother Is So Pathetic

    He is the type that always says the world is out to get him, God hates me, I never get a break and the list goes on. He worked in construction most of his life then went into auto sales but always at these small road side sales lots never at a large dealership. When our father passed away he had a life insurance policy that was split three ways, us and our mother, I invested my portion and so did our mother. He pulled his out after like five years to buy a new trunk and some other toys of all things never looking to the future. Then our mother passed and all that inheritance came to us, sold the house and some other things, split it evenly with him urging him to invest once again but most of it got spent on stuff that has no value now or he wrecked, like the boat that he ran into a rock break wall during high tide. It is the same shit with him all the time and now with retirement looming close on the horizon he does not know what to do. My wife is so sympathetic, come on help your brother she asks of me all the time, he is family you cannot just let him sink. The fuck I can't!!
    The problem is he will become my problem thru my wife guilting me into it, I made her pretty made last time by saying What if I don't help him? You going to stop giving me blow jobs? Yeah, been years since that has happened, she has no grounds for divorce whatsoever and would probably end up in the same boat as him sinking off the rocks.
    I think maybe all my thoughts of he is on his own also stem back to when we were kids and he treated me like crap all the time because I am four years younger, always had this I know it all attitude with me calling me names and pushing me around. I know it was kid stuff but somehow I feel like he never grew up and matured into a self sufficient adult. Hell, even his ex wife complained that he was basically a child in a man suit so I know it is just not me.
    Anyways, life goes on.

    Upset

    I live in a small fishing village in Nova Scotia Canada. I fish for a living . My mom is a widow age 41 and I have younger brother age 20 and I am 22.
    My dad drowned when I was 2 and my mom was pregnant with my younger brother.
    Two years ago the company that I worked for hired a new captain from BC. He is 32.
    We became friends and I invited him to my home several times. Eventually he met all my family.
    He met my mom as well
    My mom is a widow and never dated or in a relationship since the death of my father.
    In time he took a liking to my mom, although it was a 9 year age difference. My mom said it was only friendship. Our fishing village only has 289 residents. So people all know each other.
    Soon people were talking about my mom and her new boyfriend. Both my mom.anf him denied they were an item
    But guess what
    Mom after 20 years of widowhood ended up pregnant and had a baby boy
    The captain is returning to BC. He said my is mom older then him and he wants a woman in her twenties.
    He became friends with my mom to seduce her, knowing she was without a man for 20 years. He wanted to get his load off in her.
    He called my mom a fat MILF.
    Now my mom has a baby boy to raise and she is in forties.

    Phone Call.

    My sister called me this afternoon, and I was rubbing one out. She laughed and said she had a quick question. Well 10 minutes into her quick question, I said ‘hold on, I’m cumming’ and I groaned. She asked if I really did and I said yes. She said I was gross and she would call back, I said no it’s good, I’m done now.

    We talked an other half hour. It as awesome and I came hard.

    The Lust, The Passion, My Stepdaughter

    She is back from college for the summer. She brings so much light and happiness to our home. My wife is always in a better mood when her daughter is near. I am too, because my stepdaughter seduced me and we are now lovers.

    My wife works in-office whereas I work from home. I share my calendar, so when there's a break between meetings, my stepdaughter pounces. She'll also get on her knees under my desk and suck me off during meetings.

    At first we told ourselves it was just sexual relief. She has a boyfriend at college, and of course I am married to her mom. But one day she was riding me, and facing me, and we kissed. We'd already been fucking for weeks, but we'd been denying ourselves the intimacy.

    That kiss changed everything. We stopped fucking and started making love. At the dinner table, we blow kisses when my wife isn't looking, and we hold hands under the table or play footsie.

    If my wife were ever taken by an illness like cancer, I know I would marry her daughter. For now, our love must remain in the shadows. As she tells me (remarkable insight for a 20-year-old), "A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets."

  • Surprise

    I shared a story about my sister in law recently it was about 10 years ago. The reason I was thinking about her was because she had been staying with us. Last night I found out some crazy news I can't even wrap my head around.

    My sister in law is a couple years removed from a divorce. She was a stay at home mom. She was used to a certain life style. Fancy clothes expensive makeup. When her husband left she was able to get a substantial amount of money. She got the house and 50-50 custody. She seemed to be doing ok. One day she asked my wife if she could stay with us. She wanted to move closer to us. We had enough room and my wife wanted to see her nieces. After a few months we noticed that she would stay out till dawn. Eventually disappear for days. Her savings were basically gone. My nieces needed money for a school trip. It wasn't even a lot but their mother refused and started going off calling them entitled. My wife put her foot down. My sister in law wanted to take the girls but they ended up staying with us.

    After hearing from her occasionally over next few months. We found out she sold her expensive clothes and the furniture she had in storage. One day My wife thought she saw her driving a new car. We brush it off. Eventually she was calling more and getting involved in her kids life again. She ended up finding a job and a house. It looked like she got her life together. He girls moved back with her everything seemed ok.

    I browse cam sites and paid sites. My wife knows and we browse together. One day a week ago I was browsing a paid site and searched for models out our our state. I was searching and found a few models with free or discounted memberships. I found a free one that I was interested in. The profile pic was a sideways silhouette of woman body. Her ass was perky and even her nipples were visible. I looked at the info she was a newish model but had hundreds of pics and some lots of videos. It seemed like She was very active. The first post was a teaser clip of some one masterbating. It Was decently priced so I decided to come back to it later. I looked around at the other profile and subscribed to a few more.

    My wife was on her period so instead of sex she does oral. I decided to go back to that model I found first. When I went back she added new stuff. She had some feet pics up. I also noticed she had a high heels video. I love heels so I watch it over and over. I was getting excited so I looked at the post I had seen. I bought it. And watched her masturbating it wasn't a long video but it was sexy it even had a squirt orgasm. I showed my wife who loved it. I was looking through more posts when I saw a full frontal pic.

    It was my sister in law. It was then I put two and two together. The new car, the house expensive clothes. I should have known she wasn't making that much at her day job. But I was happy she was getting her life together. I was in shock. I looked at few more pics with her face visible just be sure. Sure enough it was my sister in law. By this time my wife is performing oral. She is going to town. I couldn't help it I looked a few more pics. The video that finally made me cum was her twerking. Seeing her ass shaking her cheeks spreading giving a great view of her pussy. I pushed on my wife head and she swallowed. When she asked what I was looking at. I lied and told her a different girl.

    It's been a few days and I'm conflicted as to tell my wife. I don't know how she would react. I'm also afraid my wife will look at the paid site alone and find her sister. If she does she will see that we are subscribed to her and she could figure out I know and didn't tell her. I'm ashamed to say I've looked at her profile a few times I even masterbated to a few of her videos.