Stillmarried

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Number of profile visits : 370
Number of comments made : 1
Number of confessions : 2
Country : USA
Relationship status : With someone

Stillmarried's Confessions: See All

I Could Be His Fantasy, But I Just Can't Do It

This relates to some other posts I've made about an affair I've been having for the past 5+ years.

To give some background, my husband is attractive and is well-endowed and is amazingly talented with his mouth. But for some reason, despite all of that, I never want sex from him anymore. The only time it happens is if we are drunk together, and then it follows a formula: he goes down on me until I cum, which is only like 2-3 minutes because he really is good, and then I spread my legs for him and tell him to cum as fast as he can. I make him pull out and then clean me off afterwards. This happens maybe 3-4 times per year at most for the past 5 years. What makes this so hard for him is he wants me so bad. He is borderline addicted to sex and would worship every inch of my body if I let him.

About a year after my husband found out about my affair, all of that time believing that I had ended my affair, I found out that he had been obsessing over cuckhold porn. Probably hours a day, which he could hide from me because he works from home and I do not. I asked him about it the next time we had sex and he spilled everything about how he can't think straight some days and wants to see me with anther man more than anything in the world. He even told me that I didn't need to start having sex with him if I would just have sex with someone else in front of him. I told him that I liked the fantasy, but I didn't think it would be possible.

I know that I could fullfil my husband's greatest fantasy, but that would mean finding someone other than B, my lover, because I know my husband wouldn't allow it to be him. I could never do that. The same way my husband obsesses about thinking about me fucking someone else, I obsess about what B will do to me the next time we're together. The thought of being with some random guy does nothing for me, but my secret relationship with B makes me soak through my panties. I'm meeting him today after work when I'm supposed to be at a happy hour with work friends and I hope he loves the way I let him use me.

Just a few weeks ago, I got drunk with my husband and we went through our routine of him going down on me and me letting him fuck me quickly. He brought up the cuckhold thing during the sex and sounded so desperate for it. All I could think about was that just a the week before I had invited B along on my work trip a few hours away and that I made him cum more times in those four days than I have made my husband cum in the past 5 years. There's a good chance that my husband washed clothes of mine that had B's cum splattered on them and that my pussy still had some bits of his cum in there when I let my husband inside. He would have lost his mind with pleasure if I told him that and told him it was anyone other than B, but I just can't do it. I can't fulfill my husbands fantasy and I can't stop letting B have me whenever he wants.

Just Kept Going - Specifics Pt. 2

I just realized that this would be easier by making an account, so the first two parts of this are not linked to my username, sorry. But they are both under the title "Just Kept Going"

I thought I would share a more recent confession related to my 5+ years long affair that my husband think ended at least 4 years ago.

As I said earlier, I work in a male-dominated field (disaster management currently). I have been moving up quickly in the agency that I work for and am now often in planning meetings with agency directors. I keep calm on the outside, but I am an anxious and nervous wreck internally during those meetings because they potentially determine my future and if I will continue my rise.

To keep my nerves under control, I will sometimes where lingerie under my conservative work clothes and for some reason that makes me feel more confident. But the most extreme version of this was recently when I had to present a yearly budget and training plan to a room full of older and powerful men. The meeting was set to take place right before lunch, so I said that I had an early morning doctor appointment and I met the man I've been seeing (I'll call him B from now on so it's not so awkward) before I started work for the day. I didn't want to look disheveled, so I didn't want to have sex. Instead, I took off my black dress pants and folded them neatly so they would still look nice. I got on my knees and sucked his dick until he came in my mouth. I swallowed it all, even sucking it for a minute or two after he was done to make sure I got it all. Afterwards, I got fully dressed and drove to work.

Somehow knowing that I was in that meeting with those powerful men and knowing I was presenting to them with a stomach full of a man's cum, especially since it was a man who isn't my husband, made me feel so confident. I nailed the presentation and could not have been happier about how it all went.

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Just Kept Going

I'm a petite woman who has always worked in male-driven fields. I was a paramedic initially and then started working in disaster management for a government agency. I had my only child when I was 17 and worked full-time while attending school full-time through an associates degree and bachelor degree, which are how I got into my two career fields.

I got married when I was 23 and I miscarried 4 times with my husband before giving up on having more children. Around the time that I gave up on having more children, I started having an affair with a married co-worker. I almost never had sex with my husband anymore at this point, but I let my co-worker have me whenever he wanted and in any way he wanted. My husband eventually found out and was devastated. He asked me to stop seeing my co-worker and told him I would. My co-worker's wife also found out and she left him. I didn't stop, though I told my husband that I did.

That was at least 5 years ago and my husband hasn't even asked about it in probably 4. Even when he would ask, I would just reassure him that I was done seeing him and not to worry. I have moved on to a much higher paying job and am respected in my field, and even at my church. I can't help myself. To this day, at least once a week (usually more), I let that same do whatever he wants to me. Blowjobs during my lunch hour. Anal sex right after work before I go home to my family. Whatever he wants. I don't even think I want it to end. I love it so much, but had to tell someone because the lie is the only part that bothers me a tiny bit.

Just Kept Going - Specifics Pt. 1

This is an extension of my earlier confession that I made under the title "Just Kept Going". In the hour or two since I posted that I have literally had to change my panties while doing housework becuase I'm so horny thinking about it.

I think I will do a variety of specific stories about my ongoing affair that I have been lying to my husband about for the past 5+ years.

Right after my husband found out about my affair he was furious with me for about a week. Eventually he calmed down enough to tell me that I had to tell my lover that I couldn't see him or talk to him anymore. I agreed to do this, but only if I could do it in person, which he very reluctantly agreed to.

I honestly did intend to completely break things off that day. I had no intention of ever seeing him again. We both cried because we had a great relationship and would miss each other. I hugged him when I went to leave, near the entrance of his house. While we were hugging I just flooded with emotion and could not walk out the door. I started kissing him hard. That led to me taking my shirt off. That led to me kissing him back to his couch and getting on my knees and sucking his dick. He nearly came in my mouth, but I couldn't let that happen. I got up and slowly took my pants and thong off so it gave him a minute to recover. Then I rode him hard until he came inside me. I orgasmed at the same time as him because the naughtiness of it sent me over the edge. After that I kissed him and told him that it can't be over, and then I left for home.

When I got home I hugged and kissed my husband. I told him that it was over with the other man and promised him that I would never even speak to him again. I said and did all of this while I could feel my other man's cum leaking out of me into my panties.