Straight Female / 27
When I was twenty I developed a huge crush on one of my dad's business partners. He was married and I was "young and stupid". To say it ended badly would be the understatement of my life--I was pregnant. He told me to abort it and gave me five thousand dollars and told me to never bother him again. I did. My family never found out, but my life completely crazy ever since.
I throw myself at older guys, not just a few years older, but my father's age guys--about fifty and older now. Whenever I see an older guy, especially if he is married, I feel I have to be with him. I went to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist, but in both cases I eventually ended up sleeping with each of them--I became pregnant by the psychologist and had another abortion. All totaled I have had eight abortions in the last seven years and my gynecologist tells me that she does not think I will ever be able to carry a baby to term. I've had two miscarriages with my husband each of which ended with DNC's to remove scarring and tissue left after the miscarriages. So far I've been able to hide my indiscretions and truth of it all from my husband.
When I see an handsome older guy, my body and mind go crazy. I have to have him and I have to have him cum in me while I am not protected. If it is around my ovulation time, then I will literally beg him to fuck me bareback. I actually need that unprotected sex, and plead with him to tell me he's going to knock me up.
I know this all sounds crazy, and it is, but it is the best sex I have ever had. I literally end up screaming and crying because my orgasms are so intense. I give myself completely to that guy until I find out I am pregnant, then I collect money from him--still five thousand--and go have an abortion. Afterward I have absolutely no interest in the guy.
My husband cannot get me to orgasm like I do with older men, I've even had him tell me he's going to knock me up and act like the older guys do, but it's just not the same. I'm currently seeing a female psychiatrist, but I've already been with her husband and am fixated on him. I am sure that within the next 3 months I will be knocked up again and dump him. When I do, then I'll have to drop her as my dr or I'll end up telling her. Until then I have to be with him every time I know she is out of town or I think I can get him to come over. He is a medical dr and I have made appointments just so we could have sex at his office. Each of those times he gave me a shot, and I am sure it was so I would not become pregnant. He knows I do not use any protection.
My life is bliss as I'm with an older man, but filled with guilt and remorse after the consequences. I know it would sound like divorce and marry an older man would be the solution, but I cannot stand being around the older guy again once I've had the abortion, and part of the cycle and dependency is I have to have that five thousand dollars, and then I'm repulsed by the sight of the older man.
As I age, my taste in older men change too and I need to be with even older guys. It truly repulses me to think that at fifty I will be cruising nursing homes looking for older guys to impregnate me.
I throw myself at older guys, not just a few years older, but my father's age guys--about fifty and older now. Whenever I see an older guy, especially if he is married, I feel I have to be with him. I went to see a psychiatrist and a psychologist, but in both cases I eventually ended up sleeping with each of them--I became pregnant by the psychologist and had another abortion. All totaled I have had eight abortions in the last seven years and my gynecologist tells me that she does not think I will ever be able to carry a baby to term. I've had two miscarriages with my husband each of which ended with DNC's to remove scarring and tissue left after the miscarriages. So far I've been able to hide my indiscretions and truth of it all from my husband.
When I see an handsome older guy, my body and mind go crazy. I have to have him and I have to have him cum in me while I am not protected. If it is around my ovulation time, then I will literally beg him to fuck me bareback. I actually need that unprotected sex, and plead with him to tell me he's going to knock me up.
I know this all sounds crazy, and it is, but it is the best sex I have ever had. I literally end up screaming and crying because my orgasms are so intense. I give myself completely to that guy until I find out I am pregnant, then I collect money from him--still five thousand--and go have an abortion. Afterward I have absolutely no interest in the guy.
My husband cannot get me to orgasm like I do with older men, I've even had him tell me he's going to knock me up and act like the older guys do, but it's just not the same. I'm currently seeing a female psychiatrist, but I've already been with her husband and am fixated on him. I am sure that within the next 3 months I will be knocked up again and dump him. When I do, then I'll have to drop her as my dr or I'll end up telling her. Until then I have to be with him every time I know she is out of town or I think I can get him to come over. He is a medical dr and I have made appointments just so we could have sex at his office. Each of those times he gave me a shot, and I am sure it was so I would not become pregnant. He knows I do not use any protection.
My life is bliss as I'm with an older man, but filled with guilt and remorse after the consequences. I know it would sound like divorce and marry an older man would be the solution, but I cannot stand being around the older guy again once I've had the abortion, and part of the cycle and dependency is I have to have that five thousand dollars, and then I'm repulsed by the sight of the older man.
As I age, my taste in older men change too and I need to be with even older guys. It truly repulses me to think that at fifty I will be cruising nursing homes looking for older guys to impregnate me.
