CD On The Beach

I was born male, and feel neither male nor female. I have always liked dressing in womens clothes over mens. My mom and sister indulged me, in some ways encouraged me. I am very small for a guy, tallish for a girl. I have not had sex yet, with anyone. I did date a guy last year, and I thought about having sex with him. I dated as a girl or neutral and he knew who I was or what I was. We did kiss a lot, he would rub my chest, and my butt, I did give him handjobs and he tried to give me one but I really wasn't into it, and never got hard enough. I am excited though that warmer weather is here and I can go in a bikini again. I get many guys talking to me when I am in summer wear. I like that, but not sure I want to go through the explanation of "me" again.

It's frustrating mostly, not really wanting to have sex as a guy, and having that equipment. I made a friend act college this year, a woman, she knows about me, and we have kissed a few times, I look forward to going out in our bikinis and laying in the sun together. I'm not sure I'll ever have sex, if I do will it be as a guy with a girl? dressed or not? With a guy as his girl or gay friend? Or with a girl as a lesbian? ?????? I do want to be that intimate and close with someone I just don't know with whom.