The Man Next Door

Growing up there was a man behind our house who introduced me to sex. It was consensual, I spent after school there, I liked it when he played with my penis, touched my anus, kissed me, etc. No question I was the girl. He had a big cock, bigger than my hand could hold, the most I could manage was getting the head of his penis in my mouth.

He moved away when I was in the 11th grade and I never had the nerve to look for another man to get together with. I married a girl from college, but we divorced three years later. Lack of intimacy. I've been a bachelor ever since.

I moved to a cheaper, bigger place last October. My neighbor is a professional hairdresser. We've had several conversations, and I've been to his place a couple of times. I'm pretty sure he is gay, there is no indication of a female anywhere in his apartment. I guess he is in his fifties based on his high school decade. I have been jerking off to the idea of having sex with him.

I am too insecure to make a move, I have a lot of anxiety about AIDS and STDs. I know I want to be the girl, when I masturbate I am the one getting fucked, I have a toy but in my mind it's real sex. I want him to kiss me. I know I'm projecting, he's probably not even gay.