I say you set her house on fire, kill her dog, inpregnet her daughter and then beat her about hte head and neck area untill she see the light.. yeah thats what I would do..
As the "sister-in-law" in this heartwarming little tale, I did the only thing I could do... I moved! This evil woman drove me nuts. The whole neighborhood hates her. They get together and compare notes on what crazy things she's done lately. They've tried calling the cops, calling animal control, the works, with no resolution. She lets her dogs run amok unleashed, then reports everyone else to animal control. My brother's wife thought it was just me, that maybe I was the crazy one, until she had to deal with the witch herself. As a reasonable person, I couldn't consciously bring any harm or property damage to this dim-witted wench. But I want to. I want to real bad.
I say capture the bitch on tape doing crap to your yard and your stuff. Capture about 3-5 instances of this. Then, call yourself up a lawyer and the police, show them your evidence, haul her ass in to court for harassment, and make the bitch pay. You can sue for about $5000 in civil court, but if you want, press charges, take her to criminal court and get her a jail sentence, and then sue the living fuck out of her for harassment, emotional and mental distress (it's damaged you so bad that you have to seek counseling now because you're afraid of what may happen to you in your home) and whatever the hell else you can slap against her, plus the damages for the shit she's destroyed or broken. Some people never learn unless you hit them hard in the pocket book.
This sort of neighborhood bickering is very common, and its easy to dismiss until it happens to you personally.
Its tough to get the police or an attorney interested until you have some proof, i.e., video &/or audio, and then an attorney will want a retainer, which is usually enough to cause the would-be plaintiff to reconsider the extent of their outrage.
Damages recovered are not very significant unless you can present medical bills or some really impressive property damage; it would be highly unlikely for the case to go before a jury without a police report of assault & battery AT LEAST,(it doesn't sound like you are in danger of the woman assaulting you), since it is almost unheard of that a "judge" will ever personally encounter -firsthand- an angry, possibly irrational neighbor in their private life, they tend to be very condescending and dismissive of these sorts of cases.
So, what do we have here, really.........
It doesn't seem unreasonable to assume that the two large dogs DID damage the fence.
It doesnt seem to be too much of a stretch to conclude the angry neighbor sabotaged your rudimentary attempts at landscaping, but you dont claim to have the incident on camera.
Unless this neighbor is truly delusional ( - careful - if you are badmouthing this neighbor and it gets back to them - YOU might find yourself looking at a slander charge - )It might be best to try to mollify this neighbor by offering to fix the fence.
Get them to point out what this damage is, make a note of it and, if this damage DOES exist, get an estimate for the repair. If its not more than $100.or so, jeez, get it fixed, or fix it yourself.
If their claim seems unrealistic and the fence is on your side of the property line, offer to remove it. Let them put up their own fence.
If you point out to this person that you don't keep maurauding pets, and you make a good faith effort to fix the fence, you <I>might</I> just be able to co-exist with your neighbor.
Still, find the receipt for your bush and flowers and keep it on hand - along with your video camera.
You might have more trouble with this neighbor, and if you can show the example of your attempted goodwill and the other evidence, you might - at that point - be able to establish a solid case for harrasment, right now its just kinda weak.
Any damage my two dogs did to that fence was repaired. They'd keep getting out if I didn't repair it. Half the damage to the fence was from her kicking in fence boards so our dogs would get out. She wanted a new fence and was going to do everything she could to force us to pay for it. Did I replace the whole fence? No, but the fence is now standing straight and there are no holes in it. There's no need to replace the fence, and there's nothing to repair.
At this point, my tenants don't have dogs, so they have no need for a new fence. The crazy neighbor has two dogs that wander around unleashed, pooping in everyone's yards, so she has no need for a new fence. If her dogs are getting into "our" yard, its through holes they created.
The latest on her is that she came home drunk the other night and did donuts on her own lawn. Just drove around in a circle on the front lawn about 10 times, then almost took out her own front porch when she finally did park.
We don't want to file charges over something as trivial as dead grass and missing plants. We're here to vent and be bitchy, not get lectured about the fine points of etiquette.
What would really be fun is to plant some poison oak or poison ivy along the fence and wait for her to rip those out. Maybe that would teach her not to touch things that don't belong to her. And to stay on her side of the fence.
<I>"We're here...not to get lectured in the finer points of etiquette."</I>
Really!?! -Where do you usually go?