I Don't Even Know How To Categorize This...

I don't know, it's not only an confession, but more like an talk.

I said before about trying a dick, even though I'm straight, but it's an sensation that comes and goes fast, in minutes, and it goes away when I suck my own dick. More and more, I think about buying a dildo, but the thing is: my family. If I tell them about it, they'll have the wrong idea and even if I try to hide from them, there's no place I can hide, they would soon find the dildo. I'm thinking about trying it when I start to live alone, but it will take some time. And to be honest, I'm still a virgin. If someday I try a real dick, I want to lose my virginity with a girl first and then try with a guy, just to know the difference and to be sure if I like it, I still don't consider myself as bi. Or... I just don't want to believe it. I know that sounds homophobic, but it's not, I swear. I'm saying that because I never felt any romantic attraction to men, I never felt any physical attraction to men, I just have a urge to suck a dick sometimes and it's driving me crazy, just like when I want to fuck a girl. I'm not sure, I never felt that confused before.