I Just Let Things Happen To Me

I have zero fighting instincts. If anything bad happens I just freeze completely on the spot. It had been like this since I was a kid, no idea what started it. If other kids were arguing with me I'd just stand there completely silent and never said anything back. Fighting physically is not even an option for me.

As I got a little older, most people around me were aware of my passive nature and took advantage of me in many ways. Being a shy quite pretty girl, I started getting attention from guys in school. Especially the bad guys. I was an easy target for bullies. It started with nasty comments and escalated to stealing my stuff and my lunch money. Since I never fought back things got progressively worse. I was now getting physically attacked by the guys. They'd push me hard into my locker or against the wall, random slaps on my butt, and few times pulling my uniform skirt up and expose me. That last part mostly happened outside of the school. But still I never said anything. I somehow managed to survive school.

But even as a grown up I can't fight back even when something bad happens to me. I've been groped few times in crowded places and in public transport. Fortunately nothing bad has happened at any of my workplaces. But still I'm afraid something much worse is going to happen to me someday and I'll just let it happen without fighting back.