Country Girl Living

I grew up in rural Colorado on a breakeven cattle ranch run by my grandfather. We were poor when it came to money, I was the 'only' girl of my mother's and I had to help her with the house and getting the men off to run the ranch. My mother and me had hours and hours to talk and she home schooled me. I loved science and on the ranch there was a real life laboratory. The birds and the bees were first grade stuff for me. I could spot a male bird from a female in a second and could judge the heft of a male stag pursuing females. In the house life was the same, my grandfather was the boss and everyone knew it. My brothers spent their waking hours working cattle and making ends meet.

A big male came on the scene that winter when I was fourteen. He came to work for my grandfather, they were going to expand the barn and he was paid with room and board and some money. He looked at my mother the way the stags looked at the females, I knew instinctively when my mother was receptive. My mother talked about it for weeks afterwards, yes it was all wrong but she was a widow and she needed relief from her feelings.

I met this man in town one Saturday. We went into town for an errand. He worked at the feed store and had big hands and broad shoulders. He said he was from somewhere near Lubbock in Texas. I got that feeling in my crotch, it was constant and every time I saw him I flirted with him, offering myself up like a bitch in heat. I knew what was going on but I was incapable to stop it, I offered myself to him every time I had the chance for it. He took me out behind the warehouse and showed me just what kind of mess I was getting into. I went home with that 'silly' grin you get when you've had sex and you're still not satisfied.

My mother put up with it, kept me on the pill to prevent any accidents. We had this place behind the warehouse and we met there when we were in town. I had permission to disappear for a while, but I had to get back to help my mother with the errands. She asked these questions, I didn't know the answers. I didn't ask him those things, that's not what we were doing, How did I know or care if he had honest intentions?

But those are all memories of growing up and becoming a woman. By the time I was twenty five I was married with two kids of my own and living in Denver. I didn't like the city, the noise or the pollution. I didn't like the school system. I wanted to get back to the ranch, but my mother would have nothing of it. I made my bed now I had to sleep in it. My husband was a country boy himself, he was now a DVM taking care of cats and dogs. He liked the city.