Misreading The Rape Survivor's Experience

Only once have I experienced what could be called r**e. I work in a woman's shelter part time and I have met a lot of r**e survivors. Most are what is called marital r**e, or boyfriend r**e.

I went to a few classes on r**e survivors, to be able to help these women. Most all of them don't blame the husband or boyfriend, don't press charges, and go back after they have let out their anger or frustrations. I identify with some of it, my personal experience has hung over me all these years. The joke of crying r**e, where ma'am, what time ma'am, what year ma'am? Oh, I just like remembering on my anniversary. I relive my r**e in full color and can masturbate into an orgasm very quickly.

It's not right, on the intellectual and legal plane. But on the personal plane, well the do gooders can't really understand it. It's intoxicating and I know why the women return to their husbands. I would, I know I would, but I'm not married so I have to find solace with a sex object.

And no, therapy did not help.