Making It Work One Day At A Time

I woke up to my lesbian side during college, my first big crush, my first walk on the wild side. During my second semester Junior year I met May, from the Bay area, and we hit it off together. After college I moved with her back to the Bay area, a shitty apartment in Oakland, the hall smelled of urine. The users were out in force, on the doorsteps. The non stop screaming from the rooftops over equality and LGBT rights made me sick at the stomach. I left, went home.

At home I met a forty year old architect who took me in intercourse. Without any protection and without the presence of mind I got pregnant. He married me on condition that I accept my new me, he was forty and a couple of kids was something he looked forward to. I walked into a real house, no money worries, a new lifestyle and responsibilities. The one two punch of marriage and children overwhelmed me. Then May called.

She offered to come out to me, move here. She wanted to support me, help me with a toddler and a new born. My husband was dead set against it. But the lesbian side of my heart was again open. I begged, pleaded, with my husband. He couldn't really expect me to shut that door forever. He had two kids like he wanted, hadn't I met that condition? Wasn't I a good housewife?

After May came and he met her he relented. Platonic. Platonic doesn't work. After a year he accepted the inevitable. The inner me was out in the open. He won't divorce me, he won't let me live elsewhere. He says that he doesn't want to hear about it.

That's the corner I'm in, living the wife life and seeing May as a lover.