Wish I Had Never Seen What I Saw That Night

I was 13 when I went with my cousin to a lake house with his family. That first night I woke up and went into the hall to the bathroom. When I walked past the room his parents were in I saw his father corn holing this blonde kid. I slipped back into the room, and waited until morning. His mother was sleeping with his sister. The blonde kid was nowhere. I kept it to myself, and never went anywhere with his family again.

As a post college grad I got a job at the bank. This one guy that worked there said he'd met my uncle, and commented as to he was a queer if there ever was one. My heart ran, the image of my uncle that night gained another dimension. My senses were on fire. All I thought about was my cousin, did he fuck my cousin? That would explain a lot about him. But I never found out, never asked.

My uncle is now in his sixties. Sometimes I have to be in a room with him. My girl cousin got married and lives in South Carolina, she doesn't visit often. She has two boys. My cousin, my male cousin, doesn't talk to me, he lives in Oregon and works in a pot store.

I'm consumed by it, but I can't set it aside.