We've all had them - those truly hateful embarrassing moments, caught with your finger up your nose, or snooping through a medicine cabinet, sneezing snot all over a fellow passenger, or realizing you forgot to set the parking brake after your car rolls into a gully, or needing to wrap your jacket around your waist when your period unexpectedly started when you were wearing white pants. This is the place to chronicle those most embarrassing moments so we can laugh at it together. Let the whole world know your bad habits and when you got caught committing them.

Coming Face To Face With My Lot In Life

This is about human resources in the modern world. At a meeting, mixed sexes, I disapproved of a suggestion. The man in charge labeled me a "pussy". I took offense to it, and so did another female. I put in an official complaint to HR.

The case hinged on the 'facts'. Are or are you not a "pussy"? I insisted it was sexual intimidation. The question I was asked to defend was that I was not a "pussy". Prove you're not.

When the point got around to it, do you have a penis? I said no and that was irrelevant. No penis, then factually I was a "pussy". I lost, he won, and now I'm a "pussy" for filing a complaint.

I can't believe that several women called me out for complaining, I might as well have argued I'm not a woman. Since I have a "pussy", wear it. Men get to be "dicks", we get to be "pussies". If I was labeled a "dick" I'd have a case.

  • This Is Going To Be Very Embarrassing

    I’ve always had a silly teenage crush on my best friend’s dad ever since we became friends. Even though I was a virgin I had fantasized about hooking up with him.

    The day after Thanksgiving I stopped by their house to visit. When he opened the door he told me my friend and her mom had gone shopping but he invited me in.

    We talked for a while and I got the feeling he was flirting which flattered me. I brushed against him to see if I got a reaction and to my surprise he told me he thought I was “cute “.

    Still not sure of the situation I said “really?” stepping in close to him and he took the hint. He pulled me close and kissed me. I put my arms around his neck and made sure he knew I was interested.

    When he asked if I wanted to go upstairs I didn’t hesitate saying “sure” at the same time telling him he would have to use protection because I was a virgin and not on birth control.

    When we got to the bedroom he told me to get comfortable that he was going to the bathroom which was off the bedroom. I got undressed slipping under the covers.

    When he returned he placed a condom on nightstand getting under the covers with me.
    We kissed for a few minutes as he played with my tiny boobs then he put his fingers in me which didn’t take long getting me ready and wanting the real thing.

    When he rolled over between my legs I felt his penis trying to go in me and I immediately stopped him. I told him good try but that he needed to use the condom.

    Once he did he penetrated me and I almost immediately had an amazing orgasm causing my whole body to shake. He commented on how good I was which made me even more determined to make sure I satisfied him as well as myself.

    The sex was incredible then when it was apparent he was getting off I had another massive orgasm to which he again let me know I had done well.

    Once we settled down I told him to make sure he didn’t lose the condom pulling out of me. Once he was out I checked to make sure the condom was full which it was.

    We agreed the experience had been more than either of us had expected making it even more enjoyable.

    I got dressed leaving shortly after we went back downstairs to make sure I was gone before my friend and her mom returned.

    I’m not sure how it happened but as of yesterday I was three days late with no signs of my period. So today I took a pregnancy test and I’m pregnant.

    I am going to be so embarrassed having to tell him he knocked me up even though we took precautions to avoid it happening.

    I’m not sure how he will feel about it but I’m not interested in having an abortion.

    The Christmas Party From Hell Part 2

    Both Jennifer and Kimberly got inside the Egg Nog Pool as they began to wrestle in the egg nog as all of the guys at the party began cheering and chanting TITS N ASSES fucking perverts as here comes Jim and Jerry as they took their shirts off and began to join their daughters in fighting in the Egg Nog themselves.

    The Hawk Tuah Girl went Hawk Tuh into the Egg Nog and then Ollie Stalefish played on the stereo and here come the Dewey Brothers as they grabbed her by the hair and powerbombed The Hawk Tuah girl through a Table.

    As All of this Chaos was going on, Steven got out his VHS Tapes and hit both Asher Angel and Jack Dylan Grazer in the back of their heads with VHS Tapes from behind and shouted HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, as he then was ready to hit both Finn Wolfhard and Logan Kim before the Dewey Brothers got up on stage to block their Exit as Steven the Videomaster hit both Finn Wolfhard and Logan Kim in their heads with VHS Tapes and shouted HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO, HE HIT HIM WITH A VIDEO.

    The Dewey Brothers laid Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Finn Wolfhard, and Logan Kim on top of a Table as Steven climbed a ladder and did a Swanton Bomb off of the Ladder and put Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Finn Wolfhard, and Logan Kim all through a table.

    The Dewey Brothers helped Seven to his feet to celebrate what they accomplished as wel las potential lawsuits as well and then two paint cans came swinging from the ceiling as they nailed The Dewey Brothers in the head as a voice said HE HIT HIM WITH A PAINT CAN, HE HIT HIM WITH A PAINT CAN as Steven armed himself with a VHS Tape before Macaulay Culkin showed up and took the VHS Tape from Steven and hit Steven with a VHS Tape and said MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU FILTHY ANIMAL as Catherine O' Hara shouted KEVIN as she hugged Macaulay Culkin as they went home after leaving the rest of the family Home Alone.

    Then some weirdo took the shoes off of Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Finn Wolfhard, and Logan Kim into Santa's Sack and before leaving their their shoes, began sniffing all four of their socks, and speaking of smelling feet.

    Here comes Fred leaving the restroom wearing a thong with Bells at the Crotch as he started jingling his balls and slurring the words to Jingle Bells by singing JINGLE BALLS, MY FEET SMELLS, KAREN LAID AN EGG which I don't as Fred picked his foot up off of the floor and started to smell his fucking feet as The Foot sniffer who stole Asher Angel, Jack Dylan Grazer, Finn Wolfhard, and Logan Kim's shoes and then offered Santa a sniff in the bag as he did and I bet that sack stinks like four different kinds of moldy cheese, garlic, and vinegar which I think what all four of their feet smell like.

    Then Fred sees two women from the Holiday Hoedown talking as Fred approached them and started licking the tips of his fingers and rubbed his nipples, and asked them to sit on his lap and tell him what they want for Christmas as they both kicked Santa in his Jingle Balls as Santa then went over to the buffet table and took a Christmas Cookie from a kid, put his foot on the Christmas Cookie, and Sucked his Toes on the Christmas Cookie.

    I took a VHS Tape and hit this drunk, half naked, and barefoot Santa in the Head with a VHS Tape and pushed Santa into the Egg Nog Pool where Jim, Jerry, Jennifer, and Kimberly were Wrestling in as Arthur chased Louise with mustard, My Boss made David wear a Diaper around the party after shitting his pants, and to top it all off a food fight erupted in the Christmas Party as the room smelled like mustard, eggnog, all of the party food, shit, and feet as a chaotic food fight ended this Christmas Party from Hell.

    Merry Christmas to all of you Filthy Animals, and to all a Good Night.

  • Exciting But Now I Regret It

    Over Thanksgiving holiday a friend's son stopped by our house to see our son. Our son had gone shopping and was not home. I'm a stay at home mom so my husband was at work.

    We chatted for a few minutes then it was obvious he was flirting with me which flattered me because of the age difference.

    When he leaned over kissing me on the cheek I didn't resist so he turned me around kissing me on the lips which led to more serious kissing.

    Before I could say anything he picked me up sitting me on the kitchen table getting between my legs.

    I had on a short shirt so he wasted no time pulling my panties aside getting himself out and penetrating me.

    I had never been unfaithful to my husband but it was so exciting having a younger guy that interested that I ignored the possible circumstances.

    As of today I'm three days late with still no signs of getting my period.

    My husband had a vasectomy after our daughter was born so if I'm pregnant there's no doubt whose it is.

    My only option is to arrange for an abortion without my husband knowing.

    Being A Teenage Mother

    I was too naive, I didn't suspect anything. I innocently went along. When I found myself facing my virginity I wasn't prepared. I didn't object or fight. I gave in, just gave up. Only after did he ask me how old I was.

    When I called him and let him know I was pregnant he told me to talk to my mother, let her talk to my father. He would take care of me. So I shouldn't worry about money. To call him after I told my mother.

    It was impossible. I couldn't do it. I asked him to come get me. He told my parents, not me. He was direct, if they pursued any legal actions then they cut off any financial assistance. The whole thing was terrible. But as pointed out, I was pregnant.

    All's well that ends well. He waited for me to finish growing up, he married me in a nice ceremony with my friends and family. My son was the ring bearer.

    Well, that's my story. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

    Vicky

  • My College Boyfriend’s Father

    In college, I dated this guy, who wasn’t very nice, but that’s not the story. I was 19 years old.

    I used to pose for him, when I bought new lingerie or a bikini, sometimes topless, sometimes bottomless, sometimes both. I’d also make videos.

    One day, I was over his parent’s house for a get together. I talked with all his family. Talking with his father was interesting. He could barely look at me. His dad was in his early 50s.

    Turns out, his father discovered all the pics and videos I had sent to his son. My boyfriend at the time would save everything to the family cloud accounts and his father discovered them. I know this be a when I used my boyfriend’s computer, I could see who was downloading them and when.

    I never said anything because I thought it was hot knowing my boyfriend’s dad was jerking off to my sexy pics and videos.

    Prits And Her Girl Power

    I was once dating this girl named Prits. She was very beautiful and very powerful. She convinced me to start wearing girly panties for her amusement. Soon I was wearing panties daily. Then she slowly began to convince me to give another guy a blowjob while she watched.
    As time went on, she had me sucking more and more cocks. She broke up with me and left me as a cock-slurping boi that blushes with total embarrassment.

    My Wife's Family Saw A Video Of Me Cummings On Her Face

    At Thanksgiving this year, we were with my wife's extended family. We were sitting around watching football and my phone gave me a notification about "memories" and I just hit it. It went through some pics of the Christmas light I had hung last year, pictures of our dog, a selfie of my wife and I. There was a fun little tube playing in the background and as this was playing it somehow drew the attention of everyone and they were looking at my phone with me. With the same fun little jingle in the background it just snuck a quick clip of me spraying a load of cum on my wife's face.
    Dinner was very quiet, and we left right after.

    The Time I Had To Call His Wife And Let Her Know He Was With Me

    I was a recent hire, a tax accountant for a large company. He was a 35 year old strategic director. We met in the coffee bar when he was on our floor in conference with the tax director. I wore a sweater that day which was just the right size to hug my boobs perfectly. As a young woman my boobs were my pride and joy, and I wore them proudly. He eyed me and shook his head and walked out, but not before saying 'nice tits'.

    He was attracted to me, well my chest, and he came by my cubicle to ask me some questions. When he was around me his eyes spent a lot of time sizing up my chest. I helped by sitting up straight, puffing out my chest. He wanted them, and I wanted to hold his face between my boobs. In no time I was splitting the sheets with him, and he had full access to my best feature.

    The 'love' affair became quite serious, and one rainy night he was with me at my apartment. After our love making, he fell back exhausted. 'Call my wife and let her know I'm not driving home in this weather'.

    Twenty four, with a married man in my bed, after a love session, it was up to me to call his wife. I knew her by reference, and the pictures on his desk. I had his home phone, I accumulated anything and everything about him. I sat on the edge of the bed, with a sheet around me. I dialed carefully. When she answered I addressed her as Mrs. I gave her my name and told her I worked with her husband. And that he was going to wait for the storm to pass, before driving home.

    She didn't answer. Her only comment before she hung up was 'don't get pregnant'.

  • I Sorta Roofied Myself

    I had recently upped my meds that morning, and at night I decided to drink a bit. Well, that was not a smart choice. I’m in a relationship, but something took over and I was out of my mind f’ed up.

    I was texting a coworker I had the hots for. Telling her things I could’ve easily been fired for. Glad she was a good sport and didn’t respond. Then I was hitting up some sketchy sites looking for a hooker. But the nail in the coffin was I started to text my father’s ex. He passed away 7 years ago. She wanted to come over given the texts from me that even I could barely understand but we both knew were X rated.

    I love my girl, and I have no idea what came over me that night. Glad nothing happened. Had to apologize left and right the next day.


    I basically roofied myself and became a sexual accoster.