Funguy

Funguy Avatar
Gender: Straight Male
Age: 36
Relationship Status : Not specified
Profile Visits : 197
Number of Comments : 10
Number of Confessions : 0

Funguy's Favorite Confessions:

Dirty Tina

I’m sure I’m going to get shit for this one but IDK I’m getting laid. I met this chic of all places the grocery store. I’m a person fitness trainer and yes I use my job to fuck women. Single married or ones they thought were lesbian. It does. It matter I give them the attention that their significant other does not.

The most recent one was the middle aged women named Tina. She has curly blond hair glasses a nice rack and a big ass. In jeans and leggings her ass is amazing. I spotted her at the grocery store and that was the first thing I saw. I walked up to her on purpose at the grocery store and excused my self as I leaned over next to her getting some produce. Being a trainer I’m fit I was in shorts flip flops and a tank top so I have my body going for me as well as being a good looking guy. Never have had getting a date.

She says sorry and we quickly spark up a conversation. We spent about a good 10 minutes talking like we were old friends. That’s always a good clue that she is interested in me.
Before I walk away i ask her out. She blushes and says oh I’m sorry but hmmmmm… long pause and says I’m married. She proceeds to tell me that she is in her mid 30s has 2 kids in grade school she is a stay at home mom. She was fidgety and a bit nervous i rest my hand on hers and told her to relax in understand. I give her my card and said if you want to work out or just have coffee give me a call or shot me a text. I was not out of the store when I got a text from her sayin this is Tina can we get some coffee in the morning. I’m interested in a workout. Thinking to my self I say I’m sure she is. I text her back sure the one across from her she says around 8:45 after kid drop.
With in a couple of days it was non stop texting a week into our coffee meetings we got up to leave and I gave her a hug and a kiss that she gave back and she shoved her tongue down my throat. I was a little surprised but I took the chance to finally grab onto that amazing ass.
I walked her to her Van we kissed some more inside and I just pulled her head on to my lap and pulled my dick out and she did not say anything but opened and started to suck it. She was not very good at it so it’s something we will have to work on. I started to pull her shirt off got it off nice boobs I wanted those pants off. She takes them off and that ass plops out I bent her over and started to pump away i pumped a few times then pulled out and licked her from behind she was super wet. I pulled her thong to the side and was slamming into her pretty hard and she was making these grunting noises. I pulled my phone out and snapped a good picture of her and recorded as much as I could. I’d pull out and stick it in her mouth then shove it back then. In between fucking both holes she says I’m not on birth control so please. I shoved my dick back in her mouth then put it back into her tight pussy. For 2 kids she seemed tight. I pumped away and played with her butthole I shot my load deep inside and she cleaned me right up. I have her as a paying customer and we meet up a few times a week to relieve stress. Her stress relief is my giving her anal in the back of her mini van. She let me duck her in the ass. Said her husband had tried but she would never give in. I didn’t believe her but the first time was painful for her. She walked funny when she left my gym.
I had just finished fucking another girl when she showed up to my place. She crossed paths with the other mom as she left my place.
Tina didn’t say anything and proceeded to give me a blow job. She wanted to make sure she was clean. That’s when I gave her the nickname Dirty Tina. Her husband called her letting her know that he would be home early so they could drop the kids off at his parent’s for the weekend. Apparently it was their anniversary weekend and as they spoke on the phone I was pulling my dick out of her butt and shoving it in her mouth. She took it like a trooper and I shot my load on her face and phone while she was talking to her hubby. I took some more pics and recorded the conversation with her and her husband. I pumped cum into her for the next few hours. I branded her with 2 hickeys under her ass cheeks. Every time she is over I suck on them. I stopped for a week and they are visible after a week. I sucked on the again I do this often and it works. I’m sure eventually il give her and her hubby another baby. I just sent dirty Tina home showered but well fucked leaking.

Showing Off My Assets

I’m Natalie I’m about 5 foot tall 130 lbs small perky boobs. I carry almost all my weight around my hips and ass. This is my best asset. I think I’m decent looking dirt blond hair green eyes. I am not married have a good Career own my own house. I get hit on a lot don’t have a boyfriend. When I do get one they always get super jealous. I like sex but the first thing guys go straight for is my ass. I stop them and it’s pretty much over then. I like anal I really enjoy it. Most guys want that first and I say no way. I like doggy style but in my vag first.
Anyways I have a neighbor who is a total perv probably mid 60s. Any time I’m in front washing my car or doing yard work he sits outside and watches me. I felt like teasing one time after I had a few drinks. Biggest mistake I made. I wore some really short running shorts. I mean short and loose. Half my cheek was hanging out I had a g string on and had inserted my favorite emerald j*weled colored butt plugged. It was a hot day so I was washing the car. I had No boyfriend so it was going to be a night I stayed in so I took my time my top was wet so my perky nipped where sticking out and I spent a lot of times scrubbing the wheels. Cleaning the chrome. He came over while I was on all 4s and chatted me up. I was feeling my buzz and was talking with him while I cleaned and stayed on all 4s. I could see in the reflection that he was taking either pictures or videoing my ass. I stuck my ass high and wiggled it as I was cleaning. I got up and he continued to chat me up. What he didn’t know was that I was so horny if he would have pulled his dick out right then and there I would have let him fuck me.
Like I said I was horny and was thinking I’m going to play with one of my toys in the bedroom. I was thinking that but with the alcohol and heat he asked if I wanted another drink I actually said it. I said I’m going to get my toy and get my sled off. Before I knew it he was standing next to me I’m between him and my car he is talking and he is rubbing my ass and I don’t know why but I’m letting him. It felt good and I was buzzed. It was dark and my drive way sits back a good ways from the street. I was leaning up against my car and his hands were up my shorts he kept running his fingers over my clit and I was moaning. I let him finger fuck me in the drive way. He tried to kiss me but I moved my have away. He went to town fingering me. I came hard and he yanked my plug out and shoved 2 fingers in my ass. He pulled his cock out but I was not going to suck it and with all the excitement he slipped it in me and pumped twice and shot it all over my back and car. That i had just washed. I walked away and went to clean up. Ever since then he always is trying to get to come over. Asks if we can play if I’m bored I might. He is holding my plug hostage won’t give it back. Said the only was I get it back is if I come over and he puts it back in. I went out on a date and figured what the hell il score on the first date. First thing my date did was finger my ass. I stopped him and said we are done. Maybe il let pervy neighbor screw me.

Couple Next Door

I regularly fuck my next door neighbor. She is hot, in her 20s, eager, and a fantastic fuck not to mention a beautiful woman. Her husband stays outside the room when I fuck her, then comes in and while I'm getting dressed he starts licking her pussy clean of my cum. She demeans him and humiliates him while he's doing it, even while the two of us are fucking, she will yell out things to him. Sometimes she has me over while she is treating him like shit just to watch. I can usually fuck her or get a bj from her when I'm over for that. But, she doesn't know it all.

Sometimes, about 3 times a week, I go over after she goes to work and fuck him. I make him lay there face down, take my cock then I make him put a tampon in his ass to keep my cum inside him the rest of the day. The wife doesn't know about it, she fucks him but doesn't think he's ever had sex with another man. He's scared shitless she'll find out.

So I'm the neighbor with 5 friendly holes to cum in.

Exhibitionist Ricki

My wife Ricki is a short brunette thick thighs nice plump ass nice store bought tits. We were wild until we had our 2 boys and had recently started to be wild again but just not that wild. We did not live the swingers life style but we did occasionally add another person from time to time man or female for us to play with. Once the kids came it went out the door. She is still super kinky. Likes to flash her tits or yank her skirt up. She wears dresses or skirts loose fitting shorts around the house or when we go to happy hour. Sometimes we will drive a few towns over she will dress like a slut in short skirts with no panties or go to the mall with her and she wears her short skirts and g string and goes shoe shopping. I stay close enough that I can see the sales associate staring at her crotch or he hold her foot longer than he should. Sometimes a few sales guys come over to help her. Or other guys looking at shoes will snap pictures. She has jet black cropped hair and milky white skin.
I love to see the reaction of people’s faces when she flashes or lets her skirt ride high exposing her cheeks.

We find that old guys are the worst pervs she had one follow her around a store while she shopped talking to her. He was in a motorized scooter. Like a puppy dog now that day she deceived to tease in a tennis skirt thong and ass plug. It was an emerald j*welry type that likes nice and goes in her butt. She bent over and probably saw it. After that she spent an hour walking around shopping as this old dude followed her talking. She finally just said since you’re flowing me around I am tired and need to sit so she sat on his lap for about 5 minutes talking. She got up gave him a kiss on the cheek hopped on the escalator and waved good bye to him. I met her upstairs and she told me that while she sat on his lap he was pulling on her plug simulating getting but fucked. She said it felt good. She got up after he slipped a finger in her and she said we needed to find a dressing room and fuck now. We did. I like the new adventures il post again if something happens

Grocery Walk

I was reading some of these and figured I’d confess my little obsession. I’m almost 40 years old married with 2 kids Husband does well so I’m a stay at home mom. Kids are in school all day so during the day I have time to kill. As I get older I get more and more horny. My hubby does best he can. Love him very much but work and kids leaves little time for him to hit the gym so he is not obese but could workout.

I am a dirty blond 5foot4 135 lbs. curvy figure. I have time so I work out at home. I do not cheat or will not ever cheat. I do like to show off my body.

I often will go to the grocery store and will wear some tight leggings I have a couple of pairs that are white and black but are so thin that if I bend over you can see right through them. If I wear the white ones I will wear a bright colored G string and a sports bra. I have a store bought pair of D cups so they are usually ready to burst out. I once jumped up to grab something from the top shelf and an older man came over to grab the cereal box for me. I saw him and jumped on purpose. When i turned to thank him my tit had popped out and i stood there talking to him with my nipple fully exposed.
I thanked him and was trying to end the conversation but he just kept it going. I was soaked. I went home and put my dildo to good use.

Sometimes I will wear a butt plug and a short mini skirt. Or a white see through blouse with no bra. I get looks from women and men.
In the morning it’s mostly older gentleman I walk down each isle picking items out taking my time. Some start a conversation with me il purposely bend over so they can see my kitty and rose bud. Lately I have been wearing my ruby red butt plugged and no panties. It really stands out when I bend over. Sometimes the men gasp when they see what I’m wearing. I get hit on a lot and could easily been fucked a few dozen times by now.

I would love for my husband to play along with me. I have brought it up to him while playing in bed but he plays it off as bed sex talk.

Only once did a guy get touchy I bent over and he pulled and pushed my plug. I was wearing a tennis skirt and my lower cheeks were visible when I bent over my bottom was exposed and he felt the urge to pull and pull a few times. I admit it felt good as I made a whimpering sound. But quickly stood up and walked away. He followed me around and apologized for being handsy. I pretended to be mad but I was really horny. I went home alone and put my dildo to work. I’m it sure what kind of response I will get but il take time to confess about more experiences at a later time.

The Walk

My wife who I met while single and her married to another person is gorgeous. Small spinner dirty blond 4 foot 11 green eyes. Nice fake tits and a round ass.. When she stands straight she has that gap between her legs. I usually have my hands there lol.
My kink is I like when she wears really loose top. She will sometimes wear no bra at the grocery store and she will lean over when men are around and some times her tit will pop out. One guy carried a full 5 minute conversion while her nipple was sticking out. Ow when she wears white leggings and the material is so thin that you can see that she has her pussy hair in the shape of a hart. Or that she is sporting a red or green thong or no panties at all.
Guys snap pictures of her bending over or walk behind her.

I had her wear a tennis skirt and a g string with a diamond butt plug the other day. I thought the stock boy and some old guy where going to crawl over to her.

She is a tease and never let get things out of hand. We go to the car and have incredible sex. Have been searching for my ideas to do with her.

Backyard Fun

I like to have my current gf do some nasty shit in my back yard. She’s a short thick dirty blond who has C cup tits and a thick ass. My friend and neighbor lives next to me he is in his mid 60s and his wife has sucked and fucked me before. To return the favor I have offered up my gf who likes to fuck outdoors.
His wife is a hot taller cougar. Her face has aged she is still very pretty well kept in shape with face tits that stick straight out. Natalie and I had them over for a party she was outside putting some drinks down and before she knew what happened Nat was sucking me off and Ben my neighbor was behind her pumping away. His wife Katie was playing with herself and I swapped spots with Katie my neighbors wife so Nat could eat her out. I went and pumped Katie’s mouth. I pulled out pay phone and recorded. This by far was the hottest thing we had done. I loved to see Natalie’s big ass just make waves as my old buddy pounded her from behind. I noticed when he slipped it in to her butt because as Natalie was eating Katie out she was staring at me and giving these sexy eyes. All of a sudden she made a face and her eyes rolled back a bit. When that happened I moved Katie and face fucked Nat. My buddy blasted in her ass and i Blasted on her face then made Katie clean her up. As Katie cleaned up Nat I started to pump away into Katie. Katie is a squirter so when she was getting ready to cum Nat came over and ate her as Katie squirted. I finished on Natalie’s face and Katie again got on clean up duty licking her face clean. They did a little women on women action. Nat spent the night and as my neighbors went home we agreed to hang out tomorrow night. This was Friday of this 3 day weekend. Nat is in the middle of a divorce and has an apartment because her ex is making the divorce a nasty one. He thinks that we where dating while they where married. We where I have been sleeping with her for over 2 years. I finally convinced her to move i after this weekend. We had our own sex marathon the next morning in the shower. She asked me if I liked watcher get fucked. I told her I did and we watched the video from the night before on the flat screen in the bedroom. I fucked her as we play the videos. She said she would do it again but only would do it if I was ok with it. Something about watching her face as she gets pumped turns me on. Thought about trying to make her air tight. We shall see what happens.

Watching Her

A few years ago my wife and i were invited to a Halloween party that had a reputation for being a little raunchy. We attended and saw some crazy shit. My wife dressed sexy but not totally slutty. She got hit on and so on but thing happened. Parry was crazy we enjoyed watching girls dance on a stripper pole shit like that. Fast forward a couple of years and each year is the same. Except this last party my wife Lynette dressed up as a schoolgirl and I dress up as a teacher. A sweater glasses the whole teacher look for me and she is in this tight white very low cut v neck blouse she is 5 foot 2 has the fake boobs and a nice thick waist and ass. Her thighs are nice and meaty but still sports a thigh gap. She had on this very short private school skirt. You could clearly see lower ass cheek when she walks. When she sits the she is sitting on her bare ass. She bent over and you could see everything. She had ang sting on and decided to go with a white thong instead. This kind of kept her lips in place. She has a meaty Pussy so a g string gets swallowed up.
We arrive and it’s crazy busy. My wife fits right on in with all the women dressed in some slutty version of a variety of characters.
She wonders off to get us some drinks and is gone for a bit. I see that she had stopped to watch a girl dance on a stripper pool. There was a guy dressed up in a werewolf costume that was talking to her. She walked off got the drinks and walked over to me. We went outside for air and said that the wood that was talking to her was asking if she ever been fucked outside in the moon. Crude comments and jokes. She said that he was touchy and patted her on her bottom a few times when he passed by her. I said that it was a party and that she looked hot. She then said so it’s ok if he takes my outside and fucks me. I told her hell no I’m the only one that fucks any hole ever. She came over and gave me a kiss and said ok. She said il just have fun.

Fast forward an hour and she runs to get us some more drinks. I followed not too close to be seen but close enough to keep an eye on her. It’s crazy crowded by the stripper pool my wife is there she had her hair in pigtails and is bleached blond so it’s easy to spot. She has 2 drinks and is leaning a bit watching a friend of her dance on the pole. She tries to get her on the pool and she backs up and says no she backed up against the wolf who was watching and was behind my wife. Another girl gets on stage and I see my wife standing still wedged between the crowd and the wolf. She stayed wedged for a few minutes and then I see the wolf whispering something into her ear. I saw his paw was off as she was able to walk away but not before saying something to him and then the wolf follows her. I make my way back to where I was originally at and strike up a brief conversation. My wife comes up and hands me a drink.
I said what took so long. She looks at me and before she can say something the wolf comes up from behind and and if she would like to dance. She says no I have been bad girls so my teacher has to spank me. After she said that she turned her back side to me and i lifted her skirt and gave her a hard smack. Wolf walked away disappointed. Wife tells me that she was watching her friend dance was almost pulled on stage. When she stepped back another girl got up to dance when she did My wife was pushed back into the wolf. Her hands were full and the wolf grabbed her by the hips and slipped a hand up her skirt which remember was super short and she felt bare hand not a Harry paw. She was off balance and because of the crowd and I’m sore the booze the wolf had 1 hand on her hip and the other probing and rubbing her ass. She said that he was able to finger fuck her pussy and butthole. He slips a thumb in her ass and a finger in her pussy. She said that she caught he balance and he whispered come around the back of the house and let me fuck. She walked away and said that she told him she had been bad a needed to be taught a lesson. He quickly followed her and that’s when he walked up to us. I spanked her a few more times and I took her around the side of the house. He was spot on you could clearly see the moon from there. It was easy and i pumped her full of cum. I marked my territory in her ass and pussy.

When she went back for more drinks the wolf tried and succeeded again to slip a finger in. This time he was greeted to a finger covered in Cum. She took his finger and cleaned it up. She told him sorry I waited on the side of the house and someone fucked me. I thought it was you. He told her he didn’t mind sloppy seconds. My wife just walked away. We fucked again

From Office To Her Home

I started to work at a marketing firm about 8 months ago and thing moved fast. Lots of projects and it’s super faces paced but caught on and have been doing well for myself. I’m 26 fit single never had problems getting girls but with my career taking off personal time has been sacrificed.

I was asked to assist this women Chris who has been there for a while and from what I was told was having trouble meeting certain deadlines. First day I was brought in she was a little hostile but that was understood. I knew this project was going to take awhile so I moved offices to be closer to her and the project.

Like i said earlier she was a bit hostile at first but after a few days of working together she realized I was not there to take her job I was there to help her and complete the project.

I never really noticed her until she calmed down and noticed she had a tight little body. She dressed very professional usually in a dress or dress slacks. She wore a dress one day and noticed that the material around her ass always stuck out. I figured that it was just a puffy skirt or something like that. The next day she wore a full piece red jumpsuit. Very professional not slutty at all. She always dressed the same didn’t think anything of it. I was in my office and she came in and we had a conference call. We started the call I was at my desk and she was standing walking back and forth in front of me when I noticed how fit the June suite was. Her ass was amazing and when she walked and stood still. She was sporting a nice camel toe. I totally wasn’t paying attention to the call and was just watching Chris walk around with her ass and camel toe.

That night we worked late but not super late. We were walking out a little after 5 and as I did I fist bumped her and said way to kill it today. Let’s go grab a drink it’s on me. She agreed and we walked over to a bar restaurant that’s just around the corner from our office.

We talked and I told her my life story she told me hers. She had a wedding ring on and told me her husband was a banking executive but worked in another state. He said that the bank he worked for transferred him a couple of years ago and he came him once a month and in the summer would come home for a few weeks at a time. The drinks had loosened the situation and I just blurted damn call me if you need anything additional help. She smiled and said what do you mean. I told her my personal life had suffered like hers and if she needed anything at home to make sure to ask me first. I said it with a huge grin which she replied can you help me change a lightbulb tonight. She said it with a slight smirk.

Chris is probably in her lat 30s early 40s. Has short blond hair about 5 foot 4 green eyes and an ass that I wanted to lick. Tits could be bigger but they are ok.

I left my car in the parking garage we got to her car and we started there she had me drive her car home a got road head on the way to her place. She slipped off the jumper and I was fingering her pussy and asshole as I drove with my free hand. We got to her house I pulled my pants up she had me grab her jumper which was on the floor and she walked from the driveway to her house in her bra thong and heels. I had my phone out and snapped a video and pictures with out telling her.

Just as I said as soon as we walked into the house I had her bent over this couch with her ass in the air and gave her ass and pussy a tongue lashing I spent the night using every single one of her holes.

The next day at work was like nothing had ever happened. I came in late because I had to run home and change. She called me about 5 minutes after I headed home from the parking garage and told me to bring a weeks worth of clothes home. That night I followed her home and again did all kinds of kinky shit she is in to.

We totally think her husband has found another girl down where he is at. He was supposed to come home for the week and decided to go deep see fishing instead.

It’s nice during the day we are totally professional work well together even have separate lunches. We rode home together and the minute we are in the car we are all over each others. By the time we get home my fingers have been banging her rear door and pussy as she blows me. She took me tot he top of the parking garage and rode me looking over the city. I’m not sure what will happen but for now I’m going to ride her fast and rough. I would not mind keeping her full time. I know it sounds like a pet. She has made the same comment as well. That she would like to take this further. I will confess to some more fun times we have had at some point.

I Give Great Views

I'm 44 I have had 3 kids. 2 are in college and 1 is headed there shortly. I'm short I would consider myself a spinner. Petite women 5 foot tall I have nice c cup store bought tits nice curvy hips and a plump ass. I’m usually in stretch pants yoga pants or jogging shorts. I like to wear thongs or G strings and matching bras of course. My husband pays attention to me and the older I get the more attention I like. By my husband or by others.

I get really wet when we are at a place restaurant bar and i get hit in my much younger guys or guys my age. Hell one of my oldest son’s friends was so bold that at a bbq we had he got me alone while I was prepping in the kitchen and everyone was in the back yard. He came up behind me gave me a hug son me around and kissed me. He shoved his tongue down my mouth and pawed at my ass. To be honest it was close because I was so fucking wet. I pushed him off and told him to go take a cold shower it wasn’t happening. It would kill my son if I ever did that. But it was close. That night I made my drunk husband fuck me. I pretty much rode him while he was half asleep. It wants they best but it I made do.

We have a large courtyard as you walk up to our house. You have to be let in or have a code to get in. It's a great spot in the morning to lay out. It’s private so I feel comfortable laying out and private. I have been laying out while everyone is gone and I’m home alone. One morning we got a delivery from ups and I was in a tiny micro bottom and micro top. I actually had the top off but I put it back on before buzzing him in. Now my bottom covers hardly nothing. It's a string that disappears between my cheeks the front like a piece of 1inch by 1inch fabric. I have a landing strip and the top of my pussy hair is visibly shown. My micro top covers 3 quarters of my nipples. I have very large areola's and as my nipples were covered the top half of my areolas were clearly visible. I let the ups man in and as he walked up to hand me the package and have me sign he said good morning and just started at me. I had my glasses on and I could see that as he walked up to me he looked me from my feet to my head then back to my tits and pussy hair. He chatted me up for a bit and he finally wakes off. About and hour later I was getting ready to head in when Amazon rang. I walked out this time since they just ring the bell and leave the package in front of the courtyard door. I saw there was something on the yard as well I went past the package and grabbed a flyer. I turned to walk back and I could feel the drivers eye fixated on my ass that from his point of view looked like I was naked because my ass had swallowed the string that I called a g string. I stood there for a minute letting him take a good look pretending to read the flyer before bending over and picking up the package. I took time while I was bent over and gave him a nice view of my rear end. I'm pretty sure my g string was between my meaty pussy lips. I could feel a breeze between my cheeks. My bottoms where soaked I was wet and wanted to go inside and spend some quality time with my favorite vibrator.

I could hear foot steps I turned and saw the Amazon driver had walked up behind me. He had phone in hand and I'm sure he snapped a few pictures of me bent over. He was a little pudgy young guy. He said that he had forgotten to take a picture of the package. Asked me if I could put it down so I bent over and put it down. He snapped a picture and I bent over to pick it back up and asked him if he was good or did he need any other pictures. I could see he was staring at my tits and he asked if he could take another picture the last one was fuzzy. I said sure and played the dumb blond card. I said sure where should I put it. He asked me to just hold it out and he would take the pic while I held it. I held it out on front and I saw him reach behind and grab his cell not the company cell. I held it for about 30 seconds and played dumb and asked him again do you need any more pictures he said no. He also chatted me up and then had to leave. I have down the same thing for a while now. The Amazon driver now rings and brings me the package right to me. I get so wet thinking of them watching me. I accidentally let my tit fall out of my swimsuits while talking to Bill the Amazon driver. He is pudgy and short but is really nice. I kind of wish he would make a pass at me. I don’t think I would fuck him but I’d let him tit fuck me or blow him. As long as he would finger me. I cum very easy I know where my G spot is and when i fuck I know where to really grind so I can cum. My husband likes to watch on our ring. I forgot that he could see. It was a few months after I started doing this when he told me that it was ok to let them tit fuck me or bjs. He said fingers as well.

No dicks in my 2 holes. He said he owns those 2 holes.

But I'm getting bolder and may cave in one of these days. I'll keep sharing someday.