Funguy

Funguy Avatar
Gender: Straight Male
Age: 36
Relationship Status : Not specified
Profile Visits : 197
Number of Comments : 10
Number of Confessions : 0

Funguy's Favorite Confessions:

Hope You Find Out

I’m a married mother of 3 to a man who is a cheating no good liar. I found out he was cheating on me with some nasty women and I let it happen over the years. Last one was the final straw. I’m petite a spinner blonde hair tight ass nice tits. I was hit on a lot and never acted on it. Gym his friends my sons friends I was never acted on it. I gave in to someone from the gym he is 10 years younger than me fucks my brains out. He has a huge cock that it the first time he fucked me it felt like it was going to split me in half. I have fucked him in the pool in his car in my car on our bed in his bed. In a public park in a movie theater. We got thrown out of a theater and bar for screwing in the bathroom. He cums in my mouth my ass and my kitty. He pounds me when and how ever he wants. He thinks I’m beautiful he takes me when he wants lets me finish for once. He bent me over in an elevator in Vegas and ate my ass. Licked my kitty and ass. Yes last time you called me I sounded retarded if you would have face timed me you would have seen how he was pounding me in my ass. Good luck with you nasty fat bitch. I’m moved out and made a large donation to the local boys and girls club. Oh and by the way my BF agreed to go on a cruise with us. Going to give him that threesome you always wanted. Bob voyage fucker

Dive Bar

Something happened to me last Saturday night that was so nasty I could have never even imagined it. My roommate dates a black guy. First let me say nothing wrong with that, it is just that I have never done it.
Saturday she invited me to join them at a bar. Calling it a dive bar is being polite. Bad neighborhood. The bar was dark, dirty and smoke filled. Not cigarette smoke either. Anyway i got ambushed with a blind date set up. I was not at all impressed or attracted. He was one of those hip hop thug types complete with the pants below his ass and boxers.
At one point I got up to use the restroom. The bathrooms were down a dark hallway lined with guys smoking pot. When i came out of the bathroom my blind date was there. He blocked me and made a lewd comment about my chest. Lets just say I am large, 38D. Unfortunately after one child they don't quite perk out and more less hang. The guy pinned me against the wall, tried to kiss me and groped me all over as the other men watched. I managed to wiggle free and get past him. As i sat back down at the table I got a surprise. My panties were soaked!
When the evening broke up i told my roommate to go ahead home I was going to use the bathroom and be right behind her. Again when I came out there he was. He started feeling me up again and when I didn't protest he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the boys bathroom and locked the door. It was more disgusting than you can imagine. Smelled like urine and the floors were filthy. He pulled my dress and bra down over my shoulders to my waist. He licked, bit and mauled me saggy tits for a minute before pushing me down on my knees. In a few seconds I had my first black cock hanging in front of my face. I started stroking and sucking it as it grew and GREW! It was so big, much bigger than anything I ever had before. With his left hand he grabbed a handful of my hair and jerked my head back. With his right hand he grabbed his cock and used it like a club slapping me in the face with it. He was calling me a white whore, bitch, slut.
After beating me senseless with his cock he moved in behind me and pushed me don on all fours. He pushed my dress up and pulled my panties down to my knees. Thank goodness I was wet because he didn't go slow. He pushed that big thing inside me in just a couple of strokes. As he banged me my tits were swinging like church bells! He again grabbed a handful of my hair and put his body weight on me. I went flat on the floor as he kept ramming that horse cock in me. The upper half of my body, face and tits, were grinding all over that nasty piss soaked floor! When he pushed in me and held it there I knew he was cumming. It felt like he unloaded a quart before pulling out. As he got off me her ordered me to stay still. I did as he ordered until I got an even bigger surprise.. I felt warm liquid being poured on my ass. Yes, he was pissing on my ass and pussy! I tried to move and keep it off my dress but it was too late. Moving just gave him a shot at my tits and face.
There I was laying on a disgusting floor covered in piss and full of a black mans cum. He put his clothes back on and walked out. I locked the door behind him and gathered myself as best I could. I kept my head down and walked out of the bar as many people jeered and laughed.
Apparently the guys talked. My roommate knew what happened before I got home. She was so excited for me. As she put it, "I got blacked". I found out her boyfriend also pisses on her, she calls it "marking his territory".
I don't think I will be going back to that bar anytime soon.

Fun With Anita

This happened a few years ago. I had been working for a company that had various locations and was based out of Oregon. I had started there right out of a college and worked my way into their track program. Pretty much start as managers then from there train to become executives. I moved quicker than I thought up through the company. Facility manager in Boise then to Spokane. Then was bumped to regional exec of the west coast. This position let me be based out of pretty much any area in the west coast. There had been a new location opened up on Northern Ca and decided that would be a good place to call home for a while. And I had college buddies that lived in the area. I was single not really seeing anyone so I had No issues picking up and relocating. The facility had about 25 people working there. 4 were inside sales the rest were shipping and warehouse staff. On Fridays they would have a group good outing after work. I went often and got to know the sales group and their customers as it was a bonding event and it seemed to work well. There was a Latina named Anita that worked in shipping and would always attend. She stood out to me she was tall brown curly hair most of the time in a pony tail brown eyes smaller boobs big hips and a matching ass to go with the hips. She was easy on the eyes and always had red lipstick on. Bright red that made her lips pop. One time after playing a quick 9 we ended up back at the bar. A few of us and a few had left. I talked to Anita and got to her know her. Small chat she was in a tight dry fit shirt and a pair of shorts that looked painted on. We where the last 2 to leave she asked for a ride home. She had come with another coworker who ended up having to leave early and she said that she would find a ride home. Well it got steamy fast in the car lots of kissing rubbing she gave me a blow job and it was heaven. Slipped my fingers in while her ass was in the air and she swallowed my long over due load. She said she needed to get home so we head into town and I drop her off. I was gone most of the following week for work in the pacific North west so I did not see her until the following Friday. Same thing as previous Friday drinks last to leave this time fuck in her car. She straddled me in the back seat this time she had wore a golf skirt so I had full access to her ass. She asked me to finger her asshole while she rode me I did and this brought her to a hard orgasm. She used my shoulder to muffle her sounds as she shook from the orgasm. I kept pumping and a few minutes later she started shaking again. I asked her out and we would go out. This went on for a while. Never did anything at work and I was not her direct supervisor so no harm no foul. All the mean while a few evenings a week we would hook up at my place and fuck like savages. She did everything and seemed perfect if I wanted her ass she would let me. That is my favorite. Watching my cock disappear between those giant ass cheeks where absolute bliss. So half a year goes by we are dating and she gets a phone call. I hear her arguing and from the other room I hear her say you can do what ever I don’t care it’s been over.
I asked her if everything’s ok. She breaks down and tells me that was her ex husband. My response is I didn’t know you were married before. She says yes she filed for divorce a couple of months ago and he has been a total shit. She tells me that she was married when I started to fuck her and she thought it was going to be a fling but after a few fucks the sex was so good that she couldn’t give it up. She said that she moved out and had been living with her parents. I was shocked and flattered. Caught me off guard and I was shocked. She went in to the bedroom came out wearing a white tight tank top a red g string. Had her hair in a ponytail and bright red lipstick on. She crawled around on the floor for me. That was 3 years ago and yes I am still with her and the sex is fucking amazing. We have a daughter she is a stay at home mom. We get a sitter every once and in a while and fuck on the golf course. We have been caught with my dick in her ass on the course. One old group watched as I blew my load right up her ass and she got up and we rode off. She posed with one of them before we left.

Summer On The Farm

When i was 15 I spent a summer with my cousin in Indiana. They lived on a rural farm right out of Little House on the Prairie. Right behind the barn was a creek with swimming hole. We were there every day beating the heat. My cousin was pretty outgoing. I knew she was further advanced than me, She had no problem getting naked, skinny dipping and even smacked or grabbed me on the ass or tits.
About 2 weeks into my stay her parents left us alone on the farm as they ran errands. My cousin was very excited and said she had a surprise for me. She took me down to the barn and led me into a stall beside her horse. She made me get down and look as she pointed and giggled at his horse cock. It was hanging there, like a foot long and odd shaped. I had seen a boy naked before and this was definitely different. We both giggled as she made jokes. Then she really shocked me. She took off her shirt and got underneath the horse. She began touching it! She told me to watch. She began pulling on it and my goodness it even got bigger! She began licking it and trying to get the tip in her mouth. Suddenly the horse cock started spraying cum all over her. It looked like someone poured a gallon of milk all over her face and chest. She laughed and ran down to the swimming hole to wash off.
After she cleaned up she took me back in the barn and told me it was my turn. We went to another horse. I did what she told me to and i got the horse off and got covered in horse cum. We spent the summer servicing the horses. My cousin really expanded my sexual horizons. I can't count how many first time things I did that summer. By the end of summer she was making me eat her pussy every morning before we got up.
Not to mention the hilarious experience with the family German Shepard. But thats another story....

Wife Shocked Me, Big Time,

My wife and I were married at age 20, we had dated about 8 months before tying the knot. I took her virginity about 2 weeks before we were married, since she had been on the pill a month or two.

Like most newlyweds the first few months we tried sex in every way imaginable. One night she was lying on her stomach, My head was down around her waist and I had two fingers in her pussy slowly sliding them in and out. I had her butt cheeks spread slightly and I pushed my thumb against her asshole, just pressing slightly. She twitched and giggled and I did it several times.

I put my thumb in my mouth and got it wet. I slipped two fingers back in her pussy and pushed my thumb in her ass about an inch. When I pulled my thumb out, she told me to do it more she liked it.

I lubed up my cock and laid down on top of her and slowly started pushing my cock in just enough to have the head inside her. I asked her if she was ok and if it hurt. She told me no, just keep going. I had never done anal before and I was really turned on. I kept pushing it in deeper and she was moaning and twitching. I was in deep and kept slowly pumping my cock in and out of her ass as she rubbed her clit.

I blew my load in her tight ass as she shook and orgasmed really hard. I went to roll off, but she said just lay still and leave it in. After about a minute or so of heavy breathing ,she started fingering her clit and got herself off again moaning and gasping.

After that anal sex became a regular part of our love making. After a few times I asked her why it was so easy for her. To my shock, she confessed that her older brother had been fucking her ass since she was 16.

I was confused about the whole thing. Should I have been pissed that her brother was fucking her ass or should I have been grateful to him because the backdoor was now always open and she loved it as much as I did.

Neighbor Is A Dick

I’m recently widowed moved to a new city to start over kinda. I work when I want I am basically one of those tv characters that you question how do they afford to live like that. Well this in explanation for me. She set me up and love and miss her she’s still taking care of me.
My neighbor is super cute little blonde. The opposite in many ways of my wife. Like Reese Witherspoon to Grace Jones.
Blonde is always so sweet and nice to me. Her husband is an arrogant dick cheese. Well she started getting hotter and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I started seeing less of him. I asked her how it was going and also figured out what was up she was glowing. Apparently he didn’t find her attractive in this state. Said hateful shit to her.

I told her what I thought of her. Every little detail. She blushed so hard as I told her how beautiful I thought she was. How much I liked seeing her every morning on her walk. This went on for about a week. I saw even less of him not even coming home some nights. Later we found out he was pounding his teenage intern who looked just like Blonde.
One thing led to another and I was fucking a beautiful pregnant lady. We fucked everywhere. Even snuck into his office and left cum on his chair. I hadn’t known how beautiful it was seeing a naked pregnant lady serve me a whiskey and get down on her knees to suck my cock. I did have to help her up. It ended the moment she had her baby.
Ab

She's So Dirty

My neighbour Debbie said she hadn't had a good fuck in a long time. She's married, but apparently her husband is more interested in video games. They're both in their mid twenties and She's not the best looking girl out there, but has a stunning body. And as I now know, she's absolutely amazing in bed.
The reason she told me, is I'd just had a female friend with benefits stay over, and apparently Debbie had overheard us having sex.
I don't know if her comment was meant to have us fucking, or just a reaction to not getting much herself. Either way, I invited her in saying I'd fuck her senseless every day, if she was my wife.
She could have told me where to go, but instead entered my house and immediately went down on me in my kitchen.
Sucking in my cock, I immediately knew she was up for anything, so I decided to see just how far she'd go.
In the hour she spent in my house, I fucked and came in her pussy and arsehole, and made her suck off my cum from my cock each time.
She even had me double finger fuck her arse as I pounded her pussy, saying she wished there was another guy.
Before she left I made her rim my arse before tonguing both of her sloppy holes.
Letting me know after a very passionate kiss before she went back to her own house, that she wanted to enjoy more sex, I told her to text me when she had time.
The very next morning (Sunday) with her husband taking a shower, I fucked Debbie on their patio.
When he eventually came downstairs, he said he was on some special level on his game, so he'd see her later.
By then I was recovering on my patio listening to his childish ways. As soon as he went inside I invited Debbie into my home.
I'm not sure if she had to lie to her husband, because my neighbour stayed for over two hours and there was nothing we didn't explore sexually.
Debbie even fingered my arsehole as she sucked on my cock, making cum like crazy in her mouth.
We also had a real horny quickie stood up against their gable end wall that night, as her husband watched his tram get beat.
I still fuck my female friend with benefits, who's also married. But she's only an infrequent visitor. So anytime Debbie texts me, I'm ready for sex and believe me, she gets all I can give her.
We probably fuck two to three times a week depending on her husband's habits.
There not going to last much longer, as she's already asking me if we could move away together. I'm not sure I want a relationship just yet, but then I do know if we did move in together, I'd get all the sex I can handle.

It’s On Me Can’t Stop It

Il cut to the chase I’m a reporter for a station married 2 kids and am 5 foot 1 blond blue eyes very petite. I have short cropped hair I’m a hot ticket. Always been faithful until that day. My cameraman who I have worked with for about a year is a black guy named Vick he is big tall muscular married as well very attractive. We have always got along and professional. I’m always in a skirt or slacks have to free to be on the news. We have flirted and joked but took it to far and now I can’t stop even though I should. We drove to do a story up in the mountains and we ended up getting stuck in traffic on the bay back. What should have taken a couple of hours took most of the day. He had to go pee and we could not get out of the van. He had a Gatorade bottle and said that he would owe in that. I told him I would look away. I heard him unzipping and I was looking away when I glanced over and got caught pretty much staring at his junk. It was massive. It looked like a tall boy long and thick. It was the size of my forearm and as thick as a beer can. I could not stop staring. I always noticed that Vick had large hands big fingers. 2 of his fingers where bigger then my husband’s junk. So his penis was massive compared to my hubbies. He asked if I wanted to touch it I said no here we are on the freeway his junk hanging out me staring at it and he is asking if I want to touch it. I said no again but he had grabbed my hand and put it on his dick. I could not wrap my hand around it I dot. Know why but I undid my seatbelt and started to give him a hand job. I know it was wrong but I felt like someone else was controlling my body. I scooted over to him and he kissed me and I kissed back he is massive next to me before I knew it he had his hand up my dress and had moved my panties to the side and was sliding his finger in me. It felt good and to be honest it felt like my husband ms dick. He fingered me slow then speed up deep then barely penetrate me. Rubbing my clit. I was in a bliss. He slipped in 2 fingers and it hurt. Hell it’s the biggest thing that ever been in me. It hurt he said he had to get me ready so I could take the bigger dick. I was afraid but he lifted me up this is while we are in traffic stopped. Windows are tinted so I hope no one can see me I straddled him and I feel this thing that ripping me I cried a bit it hurt. I pull off and try to lube it with my mouth he moans then pulls me back up and says it’s going to fit. I climb on and in to goes about half way. I can’t talk or think straight. Pumps in and out slow strokes if people could see in they would me my little ass on the drivers seat. He sticks his finger in my ass and I feel it going in deeper in me. I finally took it all and I’m the one riding him. I feel this intense feeling and I just explode I made this noise I have never made before and I feel my fluid running down my legs. I’m limp and he is pumping away. After 5 minutes or so I get that feeling again at this point I sound like I’m retarded not making sense at all. He blows his old in me traffic is still bad and barely moving I climbed off I’m pretty much naked just in my thong that coated in cum. I’m leaking everywhere I am next to him he grabs my head and I know what he wants and I clean him up. I sat in my thong the ride back to the station fucked me a few more times. We get back to the station I’m leaking but had put my self together. I text my husband that we are about an hour from the station and should be home in 2-3 hours. I don’t know why but I waited for him to leave. We parked around the corner and he took me in the back seat of my SUV. I take it all. He showed me a a pic of what I look like riding him. It has my lips stretched out I look good. He and I work well together I wear dresses or skirts. I don’t tell him no I feel full when he is in me. I took anal for the first time and it did not go well. We are practicing for me to take it. I feel horrible but when I’m around him I feel slutty. I have been live with cum slowly leaking from my kitten. Il update more if people want to hear about it. My favorite position is doggy style by the way.

Drunk Bitch Boss

I work overnight in a warehouse, and my manager Leslie only ever makes it into the warehouse to bitch about pointless shit. She's a bonifide bitch, but not bad looking. Blonde, in her mid thirties, short, slightly chubby, big tits and a fat ass.
Not to long ago my coworker and I went to a strip club on our day off. After being there about an hour the she walked in. We were in the back, but saw her and her husband walk in and sit at a table near the stage. They were both more than a little drunk, being loud and obnoxious, and clueless that we were about 30 feet behind them. She was wearing a very low cut top almost popping out and a skirt that barely covered a pink thong that left nothing to the imagination.
After just a few minutes Leslie steps up to tip a dancer, pulls her big fat tits out, sticks the dollar between them, and let's the stripper feel her up as she takes the tip. We were like wtf just happened, kind of laughing and in shock. Her tits were surprisingly nice and she had some big long nipples that could put an eye out! Next girl comes up, Leslie goes to do the same thing, and with my phone hidden in my lap and under the table I record her. This time the stripper rubbed their tits together then turned Leslie towards the crowd and shook her tits. Leslie goes back to her seat tits out and stays that way for a while. She went up a few more times and I recorded every single time.
It was about midnight and we were ready to leave but waiting for the right moment to sneak out without her seeing us. Then an even better opportunity presented itself. Her husband stepped out on the phone, and she was still sitting there tits out. I nudge my friend and head to her table, he went straight for the door. As I'm walking by her I wave at her to get her attention, point at her tits and say "not bad Leslie." She quickly pulled her top up and turned beat red.
The next morning, very early, it was like 5 am, I'm rudely awakened by my phone ringing non stop. Leslie was trying desperately to get a hold of me. I ignore her, she calls and calls again. Text and then calls. About 5 minutes into I answer pissed off as hell, " WHAT?" She's begging me not to tell anyone at work. I said, "You wake me up like this and want a favor? This shit couldn't wait a few hours?" She continued to beg so I said "fine, just let me sleep." She said thank you and then "I'll see you at work tonight hope you have a great day." That shit threw me off because she is never nice. I get up, then I bust a nut watching the video of her tits shaking and her thonged ass popping out of her skirt.
That night at work she approached me in an empty area and puts her hand on my shoulder and said, "hey buddy!" She looked and sounded nervous. I looked at her hand on my shoulder and said, "what do you need Leslie?" Shes all, "oh nothing, just checking up on you friend." I pause and say, "is this about the tits?" Her eyes get big and I say "don't worry, I won't tell anyone. But you should know you put on an amazing show and looked great doing it. Did you dance before?" She turned beat red again, said no, giggled and walked off.
This was a win win situation. My bitch boss has been nice to me ever since, and little does she know I've got about fifteen minutes of jerk off material. Mostly tits and some ass but one shot for about 30 seconds got a little pussy lip slipping over her thong. Have few clips of her feeling on the strippers tits and them feeling on hers.

45 Year Old MILF

While working part time as a clerk in my freshman year in college, I was befriended by my supervisor. Mrs. Orange is a short curvy lady of 45 years and seemed to take a liking to me right from my first few days at the office. She started to flirt and get kinda touch feely and as time went on, I picked up on her vibe. I had been taking the city transit to work and one evening, she offered me a ride home.

She began to ask me about if I had a Gf and if I had dated much and I explained that I was dating but nothing regular. She giggled and told me " I'm not getting any on a regular basis either". We both laughed and then she explained that her 52 yr old hubby wasn't to interested in sex, at least not with her. She told me she was sure he had some c*nt on the side from his office.

She then reached over and began to rub my cock thru my pants and as it grew hard. she told me she bet I had a fine young cock and asked me to take it out. It was in the winter and it was getting dark early and I unzipped my pants and whipped it out. She smiled and said she love to suck it and before I knew it she turned down an alley and sucked my dick right there in her car between some dumpsters. It didn't take long to fill her mouth with cum and she swallowed every drop and the stared at my cock and stroked it as it dripped a few drops out.

Now she has been coming to my apartment at least once a week and we've been having hot wet sex. She just can't get enough and of course I feel the same way. The funny part is that I've been secretly videoing the two of us. I often sit around, jerking off to this hot bitch. I showed my best bud a sample of me fucking her doggystyle with her big heavy 36DD boobs swinging and bouncing. He called me one lucky MF, and I had to agree.

"If the boss only knew"...LOL.