Married For The Green Card
I was born in Monterrey Mexico. I spent my grade school in the US while my father worked on his residency and post doctoral training. I returned to Monterrey for junior and senior and school. We traveled to the US often, both by plane and by car. I went to university in the US. I never lost my US identity.
But, after college I had to face returning to Mexico. A friend from college asked me if I could cook , no self respecting Mexican woman would ever admit to not cooking, he said he would marry me and I could get my green card. We got married without advertising it, of course my parents knew the plan. My mother told me to start using birth control just in case. Men are men, you can't hide from him.
A lawyer friend told us to live together, open a joint bank account, change my name. Be married, if you aren't you will be found out. By then, a year after college I had developed feelings for this woman at work. It surprised me, but the feelings were real. I had never had a crush, but now I did. All I could think of was her, and I hugged my pillow and masturbated thinking of her.
When my pretend husband came for me after an argument, I was repelled by him, I shrieked, yelled, cried, fought, kicked, but the more I fought and rejected him the stronger and more intense he became. He did what he intended to, and I had no protection.
The pregnancy got me my green card. I had a daughter and I lost my mind over her. But after a few months I was back with my crush, only now I was sharing small kisses and affections with her. She suggested, since I had my green card to divorce him. When I brought that up with my husband, he went all male on me, impregnating me again. No, I had not learned my lesson.
Now with two kids I'm stuck in this marriage. I stopped working after my first one, and my education degree offered only a modest income. Moving back in with my parents was even more distasteful. I 'opted' for the lesser evil, cook like a Mexican, suck up to him like an American.
He is comfortable, has a Mexican wife, four children, a good job, and an American attitude about sex. an open marriage. Truthfully, I don't ask, I think sometimes I can smell another woman on him. I have settled, for the money, my US citizenship, my children, an upper middle class lifestyle, and a woman's group that feeds my need for being around women. Which I've been told is a Mexican thing.
