No Bad Deed…
Happily married 17 years to the love of my life, 2 great kids and a good job. Sounds perfect and I may have lost it all. I messed up on a business trip, and cheated. No excuses other than my own vanity. A 20 something girl, a lonely night and I gave in to the pleasures of the flesh. I swore I would never cheat after my wife confessed to her affair shortly after my second child was born. She cut it off after a few weeks, but the hurt still lingers.
Briefly, Alexis was flirtatious, curvy and said everything I needed to hear and we ended up in my room fucking. Not love making like at home, but she had me pulling hair, smacking her as she begged for more. She knew what she wanted, even had the condom in her bag. When I was done, we fell asleep, me with my head buried between her tits. I woke around 1 am, and she was gone.
Remorse immediately set in and I deposited the room pass in the checkout basket and headed home. I was playing out scenarios in my head, how to tell my wife. Should I tell my wife. Hundreds of times in only an hour.
I never saw it coming. I woke with EMT’s and Fire Rescue putting me into the ambulance. A drunk driver, driving with no license, insurance or headlights T-boned me when her ran a stop sign. My family drove to the hospital, and I was released the next day after receiving a concussion, facial sutures and the feeling of being in a MMA bout.
My problem started within days. Although I couldn’t bring myself to tell my wife, I started talking in my sleep. Not just talking, but filthy sexual things , using words I never use. My wife was shocked, my talking wasn’t mumbling or whispers. It was commanding and loud. The third night she recorded me on her phone. Me telling her to suck my cock, I’m going to facefuck you and come in your mouth and you’re going to swallow it! These are thing I never say, and not the way we have sex.
A battery of tests, nothing! CT scans, MRI, even therapy and I’m not getting better. My wife even tried spicing up our sex life by trying some of the things I said, hoping to get it out of my system before I went to sleep. No good. That night, she woke as I was trying to force it in her butt dry, yelling at her “ spread your cheeks and take it bitch! “. When I called her a worthless c**t, well, she moved into the guest room. Even though I now sleep alone, the talking hasn’t stopped. I’ll wake with a hard on and beat my meat, thinking of the things I was saying.
I’m really afraid to tell her I cheated, and more afraid that I’ve lost her.
