I Followed My Heart, Then Sold My Soul Out Of Fear
One day I was an independent woman, five years of professional experience, member of my professional association, volunteer with less fortunate women. Unlucky in love, but I didn't give a shit. I wasn't washing anyone's dishes.
My sister turned 21 and a group of friends and me took her out clubbing. We stopped at a strip club, my first time, and we all put up money for strippers to give her table dances. When we left we went to a dance club, some girls were dancing and making out together. I watched them, for a long minute. When they danced I was mesmerized. I didn't sleep that well.
Sometime later I went alone to that dance club. I sat at the bar, turning to watch the girls. A woman sat down, offered to buy me a drink and asked me to dance. Older than me, she said she was a lawyer. I went home with her and she went around the world. By morning I had participated, shared, initiated, woke up with my face on her chest.
Overnight, dating her, long weekends, road trip, things got serious. She shared her new girlfriend with her social network, someone at work saw it and I was outed. I chose the chicken way out and quit without another job lined up. Getting a job was difficult, in spite of my resume.
I took a job with a temp company, to work, and I needed the money. The boss there was old school, and I made the mistake of seeing him after work because I needed the job. By midnight I had given him head, my vagina, my asshole. I sold my integrity, my body, for pennies.
My girlfriend thought I was crazy, she couldn't sleep with me after me sleeping with him. I couldn't work with him, I quit my job and went home. To face the music. I took a job as a bank teller. I don't talk about my past, about my girlfriend. I work, don't date. Keep my personal life private.
